'72 swim team

'72 swim team
My New Tribe
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts

Monday, February 15, 2016

Pride Prejudice and Zombies

He had lips that looked they were good for kissing, the kind you see on women in the movies.  Although he was Mexican he had this pasty skin like a desert gecko that looked as if it had never been out in the sun. I don’t why for sure but my stomach wanted to heave whenever he got within a yard or two. Every day in class I tried to be as invisible as possible and did everything I could to avoid making eye contact.

One way was to spend most of my time flying jet airplanes outside in the wide blue yonder. I could be Chuck Yeager or some fighter pilot doing loops and flying upside down while Earnestine and Alex and the other poor ordinary-humans in my history class were in their seats—attentive—slaves to his gooey words and scary eyes.  
      Not me.  I was free. Sometimes.  


Sometimes—not. 

When he yelled my named it was like getting hit by a missile and downed behind enemy lines.  So much for my flight of fantasy. I didn’t mind the fact that all the other kids were staring at me—I was used to that by now. It was something in the way he stared at me that literally sickened me.  He smirked with a grin like the Cheshire cat about to eat the head off a mouse. I shivered and slunk down in chair feeling like he had caught me half-naked in the janitor’s closet again—only this time he gloated as if he had been the one who undressed me and I was his cat-nip.  

I didn’t like Brother Michael. I broke from his yucky gaze by pretending to read the textbook. I had no idea what page we were on—heck I had no idea what chapter we were in. The other kids seemed to like him—not me. He would walk up and down the isles with his soft-pasty-skin and brush against my chair as if trying to send me a message—and look—and grin.

I prayed against my vomit superpowers—and prayed to have them at the ready.    

He walked back to the front of the class and made some gross sexual innuendos about how Catherine the Great died—American History or not, this his favorite story year after year. It was above my pay grade. He talked about a horse or something and laughed and got excited as he watched the other boys laugh. He seemed to take more pleasure in it all than he should have.  
                 Gross, right?  
                            Am I right?
Was I wrong to feel this way about this priest-type-person, a Catholic Brother—whatever the heck that means?  

I never read the textbooks—I was too busy flying jet airplanes and daydreaming about Andrea.

You and I must make a pact, we must bring salvation back
Where there is love, I'll be there

I'll reach out my hand to you, I'll have faith in all you do
Just call my name and I'll be there.

It was here at Saint Mo’s I thought I would find out the meaning of love.  I didn’t know. We didn’t use the “L” word in my house. Never heard my mother say it.  Never heard my father say it. I wanted to know and I hoped Andrea would save me before I become a completely numb to human emotionsa Zombie.  Don’t leave me Andrea—make a pact with me—save me.  Show me what love is. Help me. Help me discover what it means to love and to be loved.         

And oh - I'll be there to comfort you,
Build my world of dreams around you, I'm so glad that I found you
I'll be there with a love that's strong
I'll be your strength, I'll keep holding on - yes I will, yes I will.


Andrea don’t you know that I’m too stupid, too small, too insecure. I don’t want to lose you—hold out your hand—look over your shouldersay something.  Take initiative and rescue me—I’m here and I promise I'll be there.

Still talking to my textbook, the room was empty and the class had been over for who-knows-how long.  

Stupid!

I sat and stared at Andrea’s chair. Puberty had hit. Hormones were exploding my brain cells and I wanted her to show me what love was. I wanted to feel it. I wanted tender human contact.  I wanted someone to say the word to me. I wanted to know that it existed in the universe and that it was real—like I belonged here on this planet—like earth was my home. 

It was World’s Finest Chocolate day. School was over and I had a ginormous box of fundraising chocolate we were forced to sell. 

Two of the kids who were at least a foot taller than me—the guys who had gone through puberty in the sixth grade and sporting mustaches in the seventh grade—caused a ruckus at the bus stop. It was the 3 Lincoln taking all of us Saint Mark kids back to Venice and the Saint Gerard kids back to Culver City.

 These prideful jerks played football and were prejudice against water polo players—especially water polo players with blonde hair. 

Pride and Prejudice. No two ways about it. 

Towering over me, Ricky poked me in the chest, but I stood my ground because Marilyn and Theresa and Julie and Andrea were there. Pshaw, I don’t think Ricky knew that I had to fight just about every single day at home against the Wolf-Pack. He had no idea that I had to take on two, three and sometimes four at a time. He didn't know that bested an alligator and a veloci-raptor. He didn’t know that I a condition and lacked the ability to feel physical pain whenever adrenaline set in.

I set my box of chocolates down and hoped that I didn’t kill him if he attacked me—it would be his fault. I would probably go for the head like I did with “Cursey” in the fifth grade. Big guys hate it when you jump on their head.

He did that lame thing where he acted tough by thrusting his chest and head forward in my direction. I didn't flinch. I tried to keep the inner Pit-bull at bay. I looked him in the eye. I don’t think he liked what he saw and he walked away making some snide remark that all the kids laughed at—at me. Big deal. I was used to it. Lie. You never get used to it. I spun around to pick up my box of chocolates and it was gone.

The whole thing was a ruse. Jim had slipped away with the box when I was being distracted. I stood there and looked like an idiot.  Zombie-like I got on the bus and made sure not make eye contact with anyone because I had been played for the fool.

Andrea, I don't know how this thing works. Phyllis Dillar, Please be right. Love if you’re out there find me! 



Friday, October 2, 2015

Pavlov's Tortured Dog - Damaged Goods and Me!

Ring the bell, drool. Ring the bell, drool. Raise the fist, flinch.

Continued from last time that began with with the shirt.



Everyone thought it was funny—except for Brother Michael. So I went with it and let my classmates think I was doing one of my comical bits. In reality, however it was my PTSD. I didn't want them laughing at me. I wanted them laughing with me.


My brother Bob had come home from Vietnam, as well as two of my neighbors, Robert Tripp and John Gillemot. They looked fine to me on the outside, but they had this Post Traumatic disorder thing that made them flinch and caused them to react wildly and to do weird things at times.

This was understandable for themthey fought in war!  BUT WHAT WAS MY @#*%#@#^% Problem?

(Bob pictured above)

 (John Gillemot pictured to right) 


Like the returning Vets, I looked fine on the outside, but was all messed up in my head and hated myself for having no control over my wild reactions.

I don't know why my brothers felt they had to raise their hand up in the air like they were going to strike me in the head every time they walked by. But they did. Either it gave them a sense of power or they just liked to see me cover my head and duckor both, I guess. They would gesture violently in my direction, I would cover my noggin, cower in fear, drop to the floor which always made them laugh.

Haha.  I was the laughing stock at home—make me cower or make me vomit—the ironic thing was it that it was the "peace loving" hippies who burned their draft cards that loved to hurt me. Their was nothing peaceful about them. 



I had been hit so many times on the head I was like Pavlov's stinking dog. Ring the bell and I drool only in my case I "stop drop and roll." And if the boys got really lucky, they could make me vomit up my guts which was the height of entertainment in our house.

Every time my poor dad raised his handI fell to the floor and took cover.

THANK YOU WOLF PACK.
Let me see if I can make you happy by getting all schizoid whenever you treat me worst than a dog. 

I don't know why my brother Chewbacca had to squeeze my temples or lift me by my chee-chees or by me neck or had to repeatedly slug in in the leg. I don't know why "Flea-Bait" felt he had to beat me up every day. I don't know why I had to be electrocuted, Jalapeno'd or buried in pits. I don't know why I was the one who was chased - hampered - shot - dropped - dangled and tattooed.

Anyway, I realized how bad it was in Brother Michael's class the day after he caught me half-naked in janitor's closet.  

He smirked and talked about Catherine the Great or something in history that excited him when Earnestine raised her hand to answer a question.





Earnestine had graduated with us from Saint Marks.  She was a girl. She was a friend.  A 14-year-old girl for Pete's sake. The 14-year-old girl who sat in the row just opposite me, raised her hand to answer a question and like some mental case I flinched, covered my head and dropped to the floor.
















How retarded was that. Everyone started laughing so I went with itacting as if it was just some dumb comic bit. I was a hero and comic genius. All the stupid kids in 9th grade loved me.
   
Brother Micheal sent me to some guy with a name like "AutoBelly." Autobelly, what kind of name was that?  

It was worth a trip to the Dean's office, because I made Brother Michael hate me which I counted as a victory. I win!

Raise your hand, flinch. Raise your hand, flinch. Raise your hand, flinch. I felt like I was worst than Bob and Robert and John who had returned from the Vietnam war. Something in me was broken. I was Pavlov's stupid dog.





I was sure there was love in the world somewhere—maybe next door at the Blasers or over at the Lennon's house across the street—it certainly wasn't something I could find at home. 




















They seemed to like each other.  That's all I wanted. Love may have been asking too much for my family. I was starved and willing to feel liked.



This guy, Waldo Autobelli, stuck his finger in my chest and began yelling at me. It didn't matter. He could scream his head off all he wanted—though I stood at attention like any real kid—I was nothing more than a Zombie who was dying a little more inside each day. 

I was becoming a robot and his finger couldn't penetrate my steal plate exterior. 

Alex shared his pickles with me as I thought about poor 'O Billy Joe MacAllister - he died and it didn't matter to anyone.  Same thing would happen in my house I thought.   


 "Today Billy Joe MacAllister jumped off the Tallahatchie Bridge"
'n' Papa said to Mama as he passed around the blackeyed peas
"Well Billy Joe never had a lick of sense, pass the biscuits, please"  

"Hey, Alex could you pass the pickles please." 

Monday, June 22, 2015

Wolf Pack Leprosy: All was Well (almost)!

Since the "elephant man adventure" to the Russian River  - ALL WAS WELL!

My left leg (that had been cut in half a year ago) was fully operational and completely healed.


My arm was out of a cast.





I had graduated from Saint Mark's...didn't know anything - but I graduated.










It was summer and several hippie members of the Insurgent Wolf Pack were inflicted with leprosy... poison oak really.

My dad liked to tell stories and from him we had learned to embellish everything. 

Every story grew upon retelling.  And now the Minions of Venice hippies (my brothers) laid wallowing and writhing in red-blistery, pus-oozing pain at my hands. I was a one man boy Avengers.  


THERE WAS JUSTICE in the world...after-all and Markie D was basking in the sweet aroma of victory.




I had gone Into The Woods a boy and not much has changed other than the fact that I felt like there was stardust in the air and it was as if I could hear angels singing.



I let my blonde bangs grow, went body surfing at 27th Ave with the Blasers and the Lennons and thought about Andrea.

No Pits

             No BBs

                          No Arrows

                                           No cliffs

                                                             No ropes

                                                                               No Templates

                                                                                                         No Electrocutions

                              "What a wonderful world this would be"

Jeffery's mom, Jeanette Lennon, came out and accused me of being too happy (AGAIN).
She made me aware that I was oddly happy.

Too happy?

I don't know.  Maybe?  

Maybe I was. Couldn't tell my family that I felt alone. That would have been ridiculous. Who would believed this about a kid that lived in a big house (full of people) that was the center of universe.

Animal House

We were the crazy family with the run-away rattlesnakes, chuckwallas, iguanas and one alligator!

We had the monkey, the Veloci-rooster, and grew the "Mexican tomato plants" for all of Venice, Santa Monica, Mar Vista and Culver City...





Social-media was my front lawn... and although I lived there - I felt disconnected...abandoned and alone.  I had to fend for myself...feed myself and constantly fight the heinous hippy hoards.



























Weirdly too happy.  

Maybe I was retarded. My psyche was crushed by the continual betrayals and I knew that I had no right to be this happy. I couldn't explain it.  Hope?







Even though I felt like damaged goods I felt protected by the universe... like something up there had its hand on me... in a guardian-angel-kind-of-way...  I could sense a ray of light...  "Love?"


"Love" was a word we had no use for in my house. I had never heard it used by a parent or by a brother or sister. I had heard other four letter words, but not this this one.

I longed that one day a member of my family would look me in the eye (mom or dad - anyone) and use the "L word."


If not someone inside - then maybe it would come from someone outside... A girl? Andrea? Anyone?

I had learned all about God from the nuns at Saint Marks and yet knew nothing about Him. Was He real? Could I reach out and touch Him? Could I know Him...or at least ... would He allow an orphan like me to feel what it means to be loved.

Lost and numb, (trying to make contact) I stepped onto the makeshift stage on the front lawn of the Harding house and danced in the flood-lights.

I sang all the "Pizza Pizza Daddio" songs with Mimi Lennon and Mary and Theresa Blaser and Darleen Tripp.

 "Theresa, has a boyfriend. Pizza Pizza. Daddio"
        "Who told you? Pizza Pizza Daddio"
"You told me Pizza Pizza... Now shake it!"

 ... and "shake it" I did ... as I danced and sang for the summer night shows we put on for the whole neighborhood.


We danced
We body-surfed
We ate potato-chips with sand in them...

Saint Monica's here I come...

Then we heard the news about the bloody hand-print and the arrest for murder....

Next time... THE VENICE MURDERERS IN HUMBOLDT!  You can take us out of Venice, but you can't take the Venice out of us...                          (it's all true).










  

















Monday, June 1, 2015

The Summer of Love. The Summer of Manhood. Both? Neither?




June 1970: it was a big, big year.
             "A Rite of Passage"







I was finally graduating from Saint Mark's grammar school and would become a man.

Well, maybe not a man, but I would begin a new life as a Freshman at Saint Monica's High School.



This sacred rite of passage, however, seemed to be lost on me. The other normal kids in my class seemed to know things. They knew about love and sex and English grammar. The knew about the three branches of our American government, how to spell and lots of stuff about God and Jesus and Mary and Joseph and also stuff about science.

   Me?  Uh-uh!

I had been too busy running for my life, dodging needle-tipped arrows, digging myself out of pits, surviving electrocutions, fighting off ambushes by the "Angry-Little-Man-Crew," pushing our fleet of broken down cars from one side of the street to the other, not to mention the psychological torture of the Catholic nuns at Saint Marks, and most recently, the bullying and physical torture of the "Wolf-Pack" hippie clan that repeatedly threw me over the cliffs in Malibu - TO ACTUALLY LEARN ANYTHING.

I was okay at math - accepted into the "Zero Period" advanced math program at Saint Monica's, but other than that I barely knew the difference between a noun and a verb. I was so preoccupied with ducking every time one of the kids in my class raised a hand - thinking I was going to be belted in the head - that I didn't have sufficient brain synapse to learn a blinking thing.

Why, I was so ignorant that I hardly knew where babies came from. 







It seemed my only "rite of passage" was the fact that I finally outgrew my dad's frugal invention of the infamous sugar-water, gel-concoction that attracted the mosquitoes to California.





I graduated from the hard shell helmet-look to the  dry-look with my long bangs as a junior-hippy.


The girls in my 8th grade class seemed to like my golden locks and began doting on me - you would think this was good... right?  Well, I don't think it had anything to do with any sort of romantic inclination. At our graduation party at Mike Dunagan's house the girls sat me on their lap and combed my hair as if they were 8-year-olds (in touch with there mothering instincts) playing with me like I was a doll. 

I didn't put up a fuss. It made me feel good. I enjoyed actual human contact and physical touch that didn't leave bruise marks or some kind of road rash. Though it wasn't love (other than Irene), this was the closest thing I had come to making contact with what might have looked like love.

I sat on the front steps of our Venice house, watched the world go by and surveyed the landscape - trying to take it all in.




I think the Lennons knew what love was.


I think the Blasers knew what love was.


I think the Tripps knew what love was.





My friends next door and across the street... surely Tommy and Jeffry and Joey and Ricky knew... right?







The girls in my class knew. Marilyn and Theresa and Andrea - they had to know... didn't they?











There was a normal family behind us - across the ally - the Arnolds - they knew. Right?


 (Photo courtesy of Cheryl Arnold - Miss Venice, Miss Santa Monica, and Miss LA)






So what is wrong with me? COULD SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME! I wanted to believe that what I felt for Andrea was love, but was so insecure that I couldn't utter one coherent word in her presence.

I was either retarded, like my brothers said, or I was damaged goods.  I began to wonder if I was even capable of something so grand a notion as love?

Numb! An Island! A Rock!  I had spent considerable time building a wall around my heart to protect myself - afraid of becoming vulnerable and afraid that only by being vulnerable could I know what love truly is.  "In case I need it when I get older."



Do I just blurt it out! Do I tell Andrea that I love her?  We didn't use the word in our family and I couldn't get the "L Word" past my lips.  Andrea, please, read between the lines.


I've traveled so far... I wanna know what love is. Please someone show me.



Do I let down my guard and trust my brothers? Maybe, one small steps at a time!  Take a little time and think things over. I have this mountain I have to climb.


Tomorrow, we are going to set out for another great adventure. It's always a great adventure when my family goes camping.

As usual we will cram a hundred bodies into our Ford station wagon and drive up the coast to visit our neighbor, Roger Sasson's, new property up by the Russian River.

I'm sure that I'll be perfectly safe and nothing will go wrong.... NEXT TIME "Russian River, The Man Hunt, Elephant Man and The Plague"    




Monday, March 9, 2015

Tribute to Mary Blaser and how the World is Different!




 A hundred years ago, back when we were kids, the world was a much different place.  Well, it wasn't quite a hundred years ago - it was only about half of that.  We didn't have computers - computer games - cell phones - smart phones - instant access to all of the information in the world at our fingertips and knew nothing of SOCIAL MEDIA.

For fun we actually had to play outdoors! You know, play: kick-the-can, hide-and-go seek until it got dark, build forts, hang out on front porches, fix cars and get dirty!  That was our way of being social... it actually meant being connected and making physical contact.

The internet was my front yard.





















In the days we wore blue jeans with holes and fixed cars in the street.   In the days that if you needed to know something, you had to ask someone or look it up in an encyclopedia - because there was no YouTube "how to" videos!


This was back when kids climbed and people got hurt...That's the way it was back then...



Back in the day that we knew our neighbor and hung out with our neighbors...sang songs and did skits in the front lawn...

...smoked out in the backyard 




and just about everywhere else for that matter...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        ...played practical jokes - (not just video games) but did silly things like making a kid hang on the bucket in a well or stashed in a hamper, or electrocuting nuns or kids , and dressing up and stealing Edna's avocados. 
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               ...went fishing together...  (pictured: Erick, Mark and Tommy with his big catch - in front of Blaser house). 
There was no 911 - and no cell phones - and no instant access to everything you need when you desperately needed it... It made finding parents more difficult and emergency-response slower which should have made those times more dangerous... I almost died a couple times because of it - but we lived through it!
* And it was also a time that we did lots of stupid stuff like racing over the Venice canals when cars could still traveled over them in both directions...what were we thinking and how did world survive?  

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            The other thing we did in our form of social networking was to practically live in each other's homes. 

Our parents even went into business together: DAHLIN/BLASER Reality!  

Today, there is very little adventure. People drive hot rods on computer games and talk to people half-way around the world, but barely make contact with the person next door. They do all of this all from the safety of their couch and insulated from true physical contact.  Today, there is good chance that you don't know your next door neighbor... but back then you knew all your neighbors. You knew what they were having for dinner... you knew whether they would be watching the Lennon Sisters on TV or Perry Mason, or Star Trek or Bonanza.  None of that had to be posted on Facebook and the parents of your best friends became like a second set of parents to you (you know the "It takes a whole village" kind-of-thing).
   
I hung out a lot at Tommy's house... slept in his fort... ate their food... 

and a lot of people hung out at my house. 


...and back then, other adults in the neighborhood could tell you what to do and what not to do!  Mrs. Blaser, more than any other mother on our street was like my second mom. Her food was always better than ours - well they actually had meals at their house and she was a great cook! Her chili tradition on Halloween was the best!  She had a way of interrogating Tommy and Jeffery and me... She would always say to Tommy just after I had just gotten him to do something stupid, "Tommy, if Mark jumped from a ten story building, it doesn't mean you have to jump from a ten story building."  

She had a strong moral compass. She didn't want me or Tommy or her kids saying the "Darn" word and were threatened to have our mouths washed out with soap. 


She was practical. Always asking Tommy what color the water was of our pool before she would allow him to swim in it, "is the water green and is it filled with mosquito larva?"  she would ask. The only problem was she never asked about how many of the older Dahlin boys were hanging out in our backyard when he wanted to come over and swim in our pool. Which meant that although the water was clear - she couldn't prevent him from being electrocuted along with Karin, (little) Mary Blaser and me.  
She was kind.  When I was pushed through the front window next their entrance door - she treated me with compassion instead of yelling at me for breaking their window. 

                                                                                            She cared. She is the one who called me and said that our stupid dog, Bluin, was begin attacked by the Veloci-attack-rooster.  The Veloci-Raptor was responsible for giving the poor dog a frontal lobotomy, but Mrs. Blaser was responsible for savings its life. 
She never tried to get even!  She didn't do anything nasty to us for throwing the skunk "stink-sacks" over the fence into the mouth of Ginger, the eager collie, who was anxiously waiting to attack and bite into the potent scrumptious gizzards of the toxic smelling road kill  - THAT - Ginger lovingly brought into the house as a gift to share with the entire family.  

Mrs. Blaser was trusting! For some unknown and mysterious reason, Mrs. B allowed me to take her youngest kids - her most precious jewels - four wheel driving and off to Kings River teaching Michael to water ski behind a 15 horse power motor.                                                                                                                                               Boat accidents and plenty of misadventures                                                                                                                                                                         And...for some reason we always made it back alive and in one piece.    MIRACLE! 





Like the time I had every single kid on Harding Avenue in the back of my K5 Chevy Blazer for one of my infamous and illegal midnight beach escapades... WHEN... my big-block racing-motor cut out with the police racing down the bike path in Playa Del Rey - lights on and sirens blaring in hot pursuit. I had no choice, but to kick all 23 kids out of the back of my Chevy Blazer and made them push the gas-starved beast out of a huge sand hole. However, when the engine suddenly roared back to life I left a trail of Harding kids in the dust cloud and stranded on the beach - in the middle of the night! To this day - I have no idea how I managed to outrun the cops and also how I managed to regroup with all the scattered kids that ran off in a hundred different directions at the Playa Del Rey stables without any kind of contingency plan in place.

P.S. Don't tell Mrs. Tripp, or Mrs. Nargie or Mrs. MacClain or any of the other moms... shssss our secret!   

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Mrs. Blaser was giving. She gave us the use of her backyard for my wedding reception.  For numerous functions and for fourth of July fireworks (not to mention the time where the invited Dahlins nearly burned down the apartment building behind her house)... Whew.. that was close!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          ...AND for a thousand other things we did in that beautiful backyard and wonderful deck! 

...and for my dad's, "Mr. D's" final birthday celebration... 



We worked with each other over at Century 21 O'Donnell and Associates.                                                                                                                                                                                                             The ladies in front of my Mercedes 
We became friends and although I felt like I could call her Mary, I continued to call her Mrs. Blaser out of respect for my second mom who was Wise and Kind and Compassionate and Caring and Giving and Generous.  Thank you Mrs. Blaser for enriching my life - for adding value to our close-knit neighborhood... for your discipline... for your friendship... and for loving me - both when I was young as if I were one of your own...  
....and when I grew older.


I love you... Mrs. Blaser! I miss you and I'll see you on the other side!    Your other son - the kid from next door - Mark                                                                                                                     Oh, and I guess I should tell someone (specifically a Blaser), where the treasure trove of stolen lawn tools have been buried - the ones that had the orange "B"  painted on them - which we had sanded off - and repainted with the letter "D" instead.                                             "Forgive us our trespasses!" 



     *Venice canal picture posted on Facebook (I grew up in Venice) by Kelly Scarborough!