markie d: : Flaxing Waxing Shining Gleaming HAIR!

Sunday, June 2, 2013

Flaxing Waxing Shining Gleaming HAIR!

Stick around - because below is a treat....

The hardest part for me at this point is not coming up with a story to tell about my incredibly bizarre childhood and crazy family. Trust me it is not for lack of stories. No! The problem is deciding on what story to tell next.

So far you know that we were a little bit different...okay - so that was a lie! We were very different!

We were the only family on the planet to let all the monkeys out of the Zoo. While normal people went to the Holiday Inn where kids stayed for free - we, however, spewed out on the dirt on the shores of the sulfur smelling Salton Sea and covered ourselves in a salty-volcanic mud concoction where everyone stays for free...all 17 of us. And because of our practice of illegally smuggling bodies in a trailer, I was almost a causality of the "childhood abandonment campaign" if not for the high-speed, Highway Patrol chase that forced my family come back for me.

Trust me, between "The Hamper" "The Poop in the Fort" "The Electrocution in the Pool" "The Veloci-Rooster" "Miss Simpson and the Alligators" "Kurt and the Rapids of Death" Chewbacca and the Templates" "President Johnson and Snapping Turtles" all the broken bones and near death accidents, I have plenty of stories to keep you in stitches and to give you some things to think about.

The British Invasion was in full swing... as the Beatles arrived on our shores from across the pond... so for now I want to offer a fun tribute to hair as we went from creepy little kids with blonde hair to creepy hippies with lots and lots of blonde hair.

Stick around for the next installment, I think I'll have to share the unbelievable story of "The Hamper of DEATH" with you! It's bound to be one wild and unbelievable ride .

Until next time, jag alskar du

6 comments:

mamahobbsJune 2, 2013 at 10:15 PM
I never realized they wrote that song with your family in mind!!! Can't wait till the next story.. Jonsey xx
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VirgieJune 3, 2013 at 10:24 AM
Mark...this is epic....I smiled through the entire slide show...hoping to see this projected on a giant screen in Oregon!
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KarenHJune 5, 2013 at 9:54 PM
This afternoon in a Denny's restaurant, we saw a group of men who had rather noticeable hair. Black beards--and I mean, BEARDS--long, bushy, neither trimmed nor cut in a long time. Probably washed, but not waxed. And long black ponytails. It was hard not to stare at that amazing hair!

But there were only three of them.
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No Other Family Like Ours - seriously

WHAT OTHER FAMILY IN THE WORLD let all of the monkeys out of the Zoo, been pranked by the sitting President of the United States in a rouge encounter, chased in cities, chased out of cities and chased down by the cops. Who in their right mind voluntarily electrocute themselves just for fun and dared to electrify the nuns around the corner—who neither volunteered nor had fun? WHAT OTHER FAMILY has had more broken bones, pulled more pranks, have had a plethora of runaway rattlesnakes and other large reptiles terrorize their neighborhood. WHAT OTHER FAMILY grew Mexican Tomato plants that never grew tomatoes and had leaky boats that refuse to float or Escaped death more times? Who had cars on blocks, trucks as trash barges and flowerbeds sprouting rusted bikes, mislaid sparkplugs and abandoned carburetors instead of flowers? Meet the DAHLINS

And to think we survived and came out normal—well, mostly.

The Truimph of Overcoming

I use the word dysfunction with deliberate intention and with great respect in serving the main point of this blog. In the wild ramblings of a kid I ruminate on the idea that my family was not just dysfunctional but was the “most dysfunctional family” on the planet—that’s the set up.

As I look to the other “normal” plain-wrap families next door and across the street that had tidy yards and flowerbeds believing that the grass is greener on the other side (well the grass was greener), it shouldn’t shock anyone to realize that there is dysfunction in all of us—often times masked by tidy lawns and clean exteriors. Along with joy, success and adventure, life is filled with disappointment, failure, pain, and betrayal from those who have let us down. This is what it means to be human. I admit that I faced some disappointment in trying to fit in and longed for acceptance as the youngest boy of our wolf pack, but in large part I can honestly say that I had more fun and more adventure, in what I would call a happy childhood—despite the numerous broken bones. Yet, I would be remiss if I did not brag a bit and say, “Yeah, but...Look at all the great stories.”

Though, I dig deep into the mind and explore the full range of emotions of this young kid who felt detached, wondered about his existence, about his place in the family and his connection to the universe—He came out okay.

The older Markie D loves his brothers and sisters and holds no grudges.

Markie D has found this elusive connection to the universe and is well adjusted—and yes, still a little bit crazy. He has been married for 34 years to an amazing artist, Kerry, and has four incredibly gifted and talented adult children.

Oh, BTW… He mows his lawn, parks a car in the garage and has flowers in the flowerbeds and desires boats that float and less adventure in every outing and more "plain-wrap."

May you find your connection to the universe that brings healing, wholeness, forgiveness and a sense of hope as you look to your future.

Not too long ago on a pale blue dot, third from the sun, people and events converged in the space/time continuum that would forever change the course of history. The setting is a huge Victorian home that slightly leaned on its crumbling foundation, groaning under the weight of unruly kids and hoards of junk. In the era of Ozzie and Harriet and Father’s Knows Best, I was born into a family dysfunction of epic proportions. This decrepit masterpiece in Venice would rival the Addams Family’s house, and the cast of characters would prove to be more incredible and wacky than The Munsters. The big problem was that I was the seventh born, the youngest boy and the runt of the litter.

To have 10 in a family in our catholic neighborhood was underachieving. To compete with the larger families, my mom gladly took in strays. The official-nonofficial count was more in the neighborhood of 14 ―mostly boys and all older than me.

All sibling rivalry and mischief flowed downhill and ended up on my platter, whether I had any say in the matter or not. For fun, we held on to the live wires that were left hanging out of a wall from a unfinished remodel. We were the only family I knew who voluntarily electrocuted themselves with 110 volt household current, and are the only family in the history of the world to single-handedly let all of the monkeys out of the LA zoo. We got chased out of cities; pursued by the Highway Patrol; and sought after by the entire Needles California Police force. Wherever we went, we made a spectacular splash which usually ended up on the front page of the local newspaper.

After being buried in pits, caged, hunted, left behind and electrocuted, I somehow managed to survive my childhood but felt numb, disconnected and alone although part of a big family. In college while searching for acceptance and connection, I experienced an event that would alter the course of my life. I graduated from Loyola Marymount University with a degree in Communications. I coached water polo and swimming at Saint Monica’s my High School Alma Mater and enjoyed major success in investment real estate. After a financial crisis, I committed myself to serving in ministry, working with Youth and Family, as an associate pastor of a large church in Southern California. I graduated with a Masters at the top of my class from Azusa Pacific Graduate School of Theology and was ordained a licensed Pastor.

I am married to an avid artist and have four children: three boys and a girl who takes after her mother’s creativity.

Currently, I am a senior Pastor of a church in Roseville, CA, and adjunct Professor of Biblical Studies at a Bible college, and live in Sacramento with my wife and daughter.

markie d:

'72 swim team

Sunday, June 2, 2013

Flaxing Waxing Shining Gleaming HAIR!

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A little about Me