markie d: : Sister Godzilla

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Sister Godzilla

Hey, I'm the guy in the diaper above. What your missing in the picture is 5 more (not puppies) family members. See those pants the older boys are wearing - the ones with holes? Yeah those - they got passed down a few more times before they got to me. That's what I called "hand-me down, down, down, downs." Every now and then I got lucky and got shirts that had most of the buttons still intact. I always felt a little insecure and a bit self conscience about my clothes. So now I'll give you one more little snippet from my fictional memoir.

Chapter 1 First day of Fifth Grade (cont)

All I wanted was a fair chance for once, but it was always the same thing. Sister Lucilla had only gotten as far as the “D’s” on her roll call, saw my name and freaked out in front of everybody. I smiled hoping to please my fifth grade teacher. It didn’t work. She pulled me from my seat, stuck me in the hallway just outside the door and stomped down to the head nun in charge of the Catholic grammar school.

"He’s one of them.” she said protesting to Sister Superior. "Those kids are from the Pit of Abomination and I don’t think I could survive one more year. Mother Superior, no disrespect, but as you know, I barely made it through that experience alive.” She pounded her fist on the desk with every one of her last six words. “No! No! No! Absolutely not!” She screamed with angry eyebrows in a tone that sounded more and more like begging ―loud enough for practically everyone in the entire school to hear.

“Please?” She finished, pitifully as if waving the white flag, pleading that it just wasn’t fair. She felt that she had suffered long enough. With her left eye twitching, she despaired that one more Dahlin would likely push her into an early grave.

Considering the Dahlins a terminal infestation that had plagued the school for the past 10 years, Sister Superior didn’t even try to argue with her. Instead she just looked with empathy at the nun (who at 63 ―looked at least 83) and said "life was not fair."

Being excited about the intake of another Dahlin boy was like being excited about ingesting spoiled food, both were sure to trigger a bad case of dysentery, bound to last an entire year.

Pathetically limping away she was determined to pay me back for all the horrible pranks and crimes my older brothers had committed against her over the past eight years ―especially the pool incident at the beginning of summer. MORE ABOUT THAT LATER

“Apocalypse. Apocalypse,” She mumbled in defeat under her breath dragging her weary carcass back down the long corridor. Pausing in front of a statue of Mary, sister made the sign of the cross and with new resolve, the stout five-foot German tank, pumped her cold boney fist into the air with the grit of a kamikaze pilot looked up at me and shouted, “Not this year! Not this time!”

6 comments:

Julieta7April 24, 2013 at 12:48 PM
When my mom went to school to sign me up for 1st grade, we came right after school ended. The first class we came to upon entering the school was Sister Godzilla (Lucilla) in her classroom, who was sitting her little round body at her desk with three hulking, smelly 5th grade boys, looking guilty and scared simultaneously. Mom slowed down because the reason they were so scared was because she was calling down the wrath of God himself for some infraction the boys had been found guilty of, all the while madly waving a wooden ruler. Most all students and some other mom's there to pick up their kids had halted in the main hall to see/hear her holy ranting. Mom was shocked to say the least. We proceeded onto the main office, with her loudly whispering, "Whoa nelly" under her breath. Her first question in signing me up was not how much was tuition or uniforms, but was that nun going to be my teacher next year???? "No" was the response from Sister Superior. Out came the cash to hold my spot for next year. I wasn't too into prayer back then, but I know I whispered one about Sister Superior not telling a lie for the first time in her life. Sister Lucilla was a force to be reckoned with and Heaven and all the saints help you if you crossed her path. She was the front guard of the old school Sisters of the Holy Name of Jesus and Mary. They thankfully broke the mold when she was born. And thankfully Mark, you and I were in different 5th grade classes.

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Markie dApril 24, 2013 at 1:17 PM
First: this is true, Danny Gomez and I were both almost kicked out on the very first day. (to my ADHD recollection all I did was Yawn! Sister Godzilla had enough Dahlins, but Miss Boccaccio (spelling) across the hall - YOUR CLASSROOM - LUCKY! was not about to have me in her class and Mrs. McNellis wasn't about to take me back in the 4th grade. HA! I had flunking Insurance.
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Markie dApril 24, 2013 at 1:20 PM
I should have said second. Why didn't I say second? Second: was the fact that after all those brothers come before me, the Archdiocese must have granted me "flunking immunity"
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Markie dApril 24, 2013 at 1:30 PM
and Thirdly: It was probably my Brothers she was verbally lambasting and tacking on another million years of purgatory.
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Julieta7April 24, 2013 at 1:48 PM
Well Pastor Mark, you've done well. I am sure Sister Lucilla/Godzilla is up there somewhere with her ruler, admitting that maybe she was too hasty and you turned out okay after all. And yes, I believe there was Divine protective covering over you to keep you there with her. Can't judge a book by it's banged up, bandaged up, cast wearing/crutches needing cover.
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No Other Family Like Ours - seriously

WHAT OTHER FAMILY IN THE WORLD let all of the monkeys out of the Zoo, been pranked by the sitting President of the United States in a rouge encounter, chased in cities, chased out of cities and chased down by the cops. Who in their right mind voluntarily electrocute themselves just for fun and dared to electrify the nuns around the corner—who neither volunteered nor had fun? WHAT OTHER FAMILY has had more broken bones, pulled more pranks, have had a plethora of runaway rattlesnakes and other large reptiles terrorize their neighborhood. WHAT OTHER FAMILY grew Mexican Tomato plants that never grew tomatoes and had leaky boats that refuse to float or Escaped death more times? Who had cars on blocks, trucks as trash barges and flowerbeds sprouting rusted bikes, mislaid sparkplugs and abandoned carburetors instead of flowers? Meet the DAHLINS

And to think we survived and came out normal—well, mostly.

The Truimph of Overcoming

I use the word dysfunction with deliberate intention and with great respect in serving the main point of this blog. In the wild ramblings of a kid I ruminate on the idea that my family was not just dysfunctional but was the “most dysfunctional family” on the planet—that’s the set up.

As I look to the other “normal” plain-wrap families next door and across the street that had tidy yards and flowerbeds believing that the grass is greener on the other side (well the grass was greener), it shouldn’t shock anyone to realize that there is dysfunction in all of us—often times masked by tidy lawns and clean exteriors. Along with joy, success and adventure, life is filled with disappointment, failure, pain, and betrayal from those who have let us down. This is what it means to be human. I admit that I faced some disappointment in trying to fit in and longed for acceptance as the youngest boy of our wolf pack, but in large part I can honestly say that I had more fun and more adventure, in what I would call a happy childhood—despite the numerous broken bones. Yet, I would be remiss if I did not brag a bit and say, “Yeah, but...Look at all the great stories.”

Though, I dig deep into the mind and explore the full range of emotions of this young kid who felt detached, wondered about his existence, about his place in the family and his connection to the universe—He came out okay.

The older Markie D loves his brothers and sisters and holds no grudges.

Markie D has found this elusive connection to the universe and is well adjusted—and yes, still a little bit crazy. He has been married for 34 years to an amazing artist, Kerry, and has four incredibly gifted and talented adult children.

Oh, BTW… He mows his lawn, parks a car in the garage and has flowers in the flowerbeds and desires boats that float and less adventure in every outing and more "plain-wrap."

May you find your connection to the universe that brings healing, wholeness, forgiveness and a sense of hope as you look to your future.

Not too long ago on a pale blue dot, third from the sun, people and events converged in the space/time continuum that would forever change the course of history. The setting is a huge Victorian home that slightly leaned on its crumbling foundation, groaning under the weight of unruly kids and hoards of junk. In the era of Ozzie and Harriet and Father’s Knows Best, I was born into a family dysfunction of epic proportions. This decrepit masterpiece in Venice would rival the Addams Family’s house, and the cast of characters would prove to be more incredible and wacky than The Munsters. The big problem was that I was the seventh born, the youngest boy and the runt of the litter.

To have 10 in a family in our catholic neighborhood was underachieving. To compete with the larger families, my mom gladly took in strays. The official-nonofficial count was more in the neighborhood of 14 ―mostly boys and all older than me.

All sibling rivalry and mischief flowed downhill and ended up on my platter, whether I had any say in the matter or not. For fun, we held on to the live wires that were left hanging out of a wall from a unfinished remodel. We were the only family I knew who voluntarily electrocuted themselves with 110 volt household current, and are the only family in the history of the world to single-handedly let all of the monkeys out of the LA zoo. We got chased out of cities; pursued by the Highway Patrol; and sought after by the entire Needles California Police force. Wherever we went, we made a spectacular splash which usually ended up on the front page of the local newspaper.

After being buried in pits, caged, hunted, left behind and electrocuted, I somehow managed to survive my childhood but felt numb, disconnected and alone although part of a big family. In college while searching for acceptance and connection, I experienced an event that would alter the course of my life. I graduated from Loyola Marymount University with a degree in Communications. I coached water polo and swimming at Saint Monica’s my High School Alma Mater and enjoyed major success in investment real estate. After a financial crisis, I committed myself to serving in ministry, working with Youth and Family, as an associate pastor of a large church in Southern California. I graduated with a Masters at the top of my class from Azusa Pacific Graduate School of Theology and was ordained a licensed Pastor.

I am married to an avid artist and have four children: three boys and a girl who takes after her mother’s creativity.

Currently, I am a senior Pastor of a church in Roseville, CA, and adjunct Professor of Biblical Studies at a Bible college, and live in Sacramento with my wife and daughter.

markie d:

'72 swim team

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Sister Godzilla

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