'72 swim team

'72 swim team
My New Tribe
Showing posts with label Raptor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Raptor. Show all posts

Saturday, August 23, 2014

The Epic Race: Dahlins verses the Lennons

Star Date: August 11th 1969.

I got back from the "diarrhea-trip to Valhalla" (otherwise known as the 1969 Boy Scout Jamboree in Idaho) to find that things were awfully weird on Harding Ave.
Wait!
Wait!
Wait...that didn't come out right...everything was always kind of weird on my street, because we lived there of course.


 "Weird" is not the right word, maybe I should have said "unusual." Not that things had gotten normal all of a sudden, but that there was this ominous vibe in the air. I think the adults could explain it better, but as a kid it's something that you could feel by the silence.

Mr. Lennon was very athletic and always had his kids running time-trials up and down Naples avenue with a stop watch in his hand. I don't know if the times he recorded should have counted because the 50 and 100 dash-marks he painted in the street next to their house ran down hill towards Saint Marks church. Anyway, I think Danny and Mimi were his two fastest runners. Mr. Lennon was always trying to get us to race his kids, but I saw Mimi run a couple of times and knew that she could beat the pants off of me by a mile. Danny was playing football at Loyola University up on the hill with the big letter L that you could see from our house. Mr. Lennon's big challenge was his oldest boy, Danny, race against my oldest brother, Tony...
                            .                  ...i.e. the Lennons verses the Dahlins.

It was the anticipated event of the summer!  But when I got back home to Venice from this Boy Scout trip with Troop 32, there was no visible activity going on anywhere on Harding avenue.

 No diabolical plans of reeling in the old grouch next door (post 5/9/13).
 No launching of flaming UFO's (post 8/24/13).
 No bags of dooh-dooh on Edna's front porch.
 No hamper torture (post 6/5/13)
 No electrocutions (post 4/26/13 & 7/8/13).
 No screeching down the streets in Hot Rods.
 No Helm's Bakery Truck ambushes (post 8/3/13).

Tommy couldn't come out and play, the Blasers had to stay inside for some reason

Jeffry couldn't come out and play, Bob and Jeanette Lennon's family had to stay inside.

None of the Superior ave Lennons were around (and they were always around).

No touch football was taking place in the street. No kick-the-can and none of the Dahlins were shooting each other with B.B. guns nor we they hunting me with needle-tipped arrows.


I couldn't put my finger on it, but something wasn't right.

The hippies were in the back, quietly minding their own business, doing whatever it is they do in that back-ivy-cave with those "Mexican tomato plants" of theirs. I was beginning to get suspicious of those plants because they never seemed to grow any tomatoes  - even after all the attention my brothers gave them.

One of hippies was making his way from the ivy enclave (the dark ivy cave that the older boys called "Wall Drug") when the Veloci-Rooster attacked and scared the "long-hairs" spit-less who then screamed like a little girl and fell onto the thin, tin walls of the old, pool-turned reptile-habitat. Stretched out across the side of the fallen tin wall, the freaked-out screeches of the long-hair turned to a muffle as the dude landed face down into the billion gallons of sand that we had stolen from Venice Beach. When the cocky attack rooster caught a glimpse of what was slowly making a predatory approach in the direction of the downed hippie, it wisely backed up and gave way.    

The insidious yellow eyes of the creature blinked slowly as if assessing what to do with its victim. Exposing its dagger-shaped teeth the Caiman alligator appeared to have weighed it options and decided for escape rather than attack.  

Let me tell you, "That was one lucky hippie!"

The "gator" creature took off across the stoned victim and began running in a frenzied circle around the backyard looking for the easiest means of exit.

Chickens flew! Feathers were everywhere! Rabbits and chuckwallas and guinea pigs and even the desert tortoises took cover. Things flung, rusty bikes buckled into a heap and old BBQs standing on three legs fell over as stacks of decaying National Geographics swayed as if under the influence of the latest earthquake.

The chicken squawking, the awful screaming, the animal caterwaul, and the clamorous racket of the symphony of dissonance alerted all of us in the house that something terrible was "afoot" (Sherlock Holmes would say), in the backyard.  Tony and I looked out the window in time to see the gator making his way into the front yard.  The prehistoric reptile ran to the soft tar street and couldn't decide which way to turn. I hoped the Tripps wouldn't open their front door after what had happened to them last time (post 8/1/13 Iguana Del Diablo) and thought how nice it would be if Edna's brother, Hutch, was makings one of his notorious visits to Harding Ave instead and had a close encounter of the worst kind with the savage reptilian gargoyle.

(Ricky Tripp pictured to the left).

Without any fear at all, Tony took off his shoes and bolted after the flesh eating monster. The sharped-toothed beast raised it's body on all fours and took off towards the Lennon house. Forget Tony verses Danny Lennon, this was Tony verses the lightning fast cold-blooded carnivore that had escaped from the Dahlin swamp.

Billy Lennon decided he would break the top security curfew and had lurking outside in front where he watched the whole thing.

Down the street, came the gator ablaze with the inspiration of freedom, followed by the barefooted Dahlin whose feet were moving so fast that you couldn't even see them.


Taking a right at the corner of the Lennon's house Tony bolted after the high-strung vertebrate and made a record 50-yard-dash, grabbing the tail of the raptor so that it could not run into the wide open doors of Saint Mark's Church!

Tony flung the thing around a couple times to scatter its feeble brain, heaved it over his shoulder and returned the ravenous beast to it home.

Billy knew!  He saw the whole thing.

Billy knew that his oldest brother, Danny didn't stand a chance against my oldest brother! He sneaked back inside the safety of the compound and whispered accounts of the events of the epic race that took place right out in front of his house.

(I just put in the picture to the Right, for fun of course. The Lennon Sisters weren't really out in front during this latest episode...they were being diligently protected by the watchful eye of their Dad because of the rising intensity of the lunatic threats that the crazed fan, Chet Young, had made against Bill Lennon).

My birthday was in two days. I would finally become a teenager...13!  But in two days that didn't seem to matter anymore.. because everything was about to change the very next day on our beloved street!

                 Venice as I knew it, was about to change forever!

Oh and if any one sees Keith Bjelajac, thank him for letting me borrow his Saint Mark's sweater.

                  Next Time: The Tagic News!



 



Sunday, February 23, 2014

The Pit of Despair and Slipping Down...Down

I put up a good fight and nearly escaped... but there was just no way a 12-year-old like me was going to hold off the likes of 15 determined hippies who had a plan. Remember last time; when I said that I wanted to feel like I was part of the tribe...and join them in the backyard fun? Well, little did I know at time that I WOULD be JOINING THEM in THEIR BACKYARD FUN.  It was like the guy who saw the big boiling pot and asked the Cannibal what was for dinner and the Cannibal looked him in the eyes and said... "YOU!" Just before he tied him up and threw him in.

I WAS THE BACKYARD FUN! Dang it!  Why was I so stupid that I couldn't see this coming? Hippies digging a hole...doing hard work and having fun! I knew there was something odd about it. OXYMORON "Markie D, you should have seen this coming" I silently grumbled to myself. I was bound in a wet, coarse rope that they scavenged from the soupy bottom of the leaky boat in the front yard and was being dragged over to the sand pit.

I had been through the ritual before. I had been buried up to my neck in the sand at high tide line at Leo Carrillo State Beach in Malibu and in this exact same spot a couple times.  This time, however, the circumstance have changed somewhat and it was the "somewhat" of the unknown that frightened me. Next to the hole the industrious Wolf-Pack had stacked old cinder-blocks used for construction.  This wasn't good - I was smart enough to know that and began to panic on the inside

PANIC. That's what they wanted! they wanted to see me panic on the outside and they got it! They wanted to see me squirm and maybe even throw up.  I desperately tried to dig deep into my superpowers so that I could vomit on about 8 or 9 of them - but I only had a couple bites of the moldy sourdough toast in the bottom of my stomach - I had NOTHING!   They dragged me across the ground behind them like in one of those TV Westerns where you see the cowboys being dragged by a horse.


If they untied me before stuffing me in the hole...I knew my adrenalin would kick in and could take out another 5 or 6 of the hippies who smelled like skunk.  My life depended on it...what if they buried me and decided to let out the Veloci-Rooster. If that was their diabolical plan, then I was a "gonner" for sure!



The front of the Evening Outlook would read EXTRA EXTRA: Venice boy's eyes gouged out by a Pre-Flood Raptor and talon-ed to death!  I'm not sure "taloned" is a word - but you get it - punctured to death by the four-inch razor-sharp talons of the one-eyed crazy rooster.    WHAT IF?

The Hippy Wolf Pack was too smart this time and kept my hands tied behind my back and strapped around my body as they heaved me into the pit. It took them 14 tries. Every time they attempted to shove me into the pit of despair I spread my legs and made it impossible.  Ha! "So There!"  They made Flea-Bait grab my legs and that's when I bit him on the back of the shoulder. He should have seen that coming - Idiot! Well, I tell you right now, that backfired - because I paid for that about 30 times over!

This went on for something like 5 minutes. I kicked and bit and wiggled and squirmed as if the hole and I were magnetically polar opposites and the hole kept obliging as if the hole itself - willed to reject me.

Thank you Mr. Hole.

Mr Hole was my friend for about 13 failed attempts until the Wolf Pack finally got my feet tied together and six of them managed to force my tamed appendages down into the center of the pit.  I was tied and bound and now gagged as the long-haired hippies began back-filling the hole like dogs digging for bones. As the sand filled in around me the pressure pushed in on my chest making it hard to breathe - which incited my secret claustrophobia.

THEN came the "Somewhat."  It went from very bad to worst as they began stacking the construction blocks around me like my own personal Igloo of Death.  I was working in a coal mine and about to slip down...                    
                                               android users: Working In a Coal Mine
It couldn't get any worst - right?     WRONG!
              It got a lot worse - A LOT WORST!

I had cheated death already and now I felt like my number was up... I had escaped from Salton Sea (post 5/13/13), but felt there was no way out of this.