Christmas in Venice and the Viking Warrior Gene

Christmas 1970  We were normal once, but that was a long time ago.

At one time we were cute and cuddly and snugly - had manners and said our prayers.

 (I'm the cute one on the rocking horse)

(Erick and Mary)  (Here I am crawling on the floor) 

(Kurt and Karl)

We took pictures without pinching the person in front of us or elbowing the person next to us. We ate meals together at the kitchen table and called our mother and father "mom" and "dad" like most other children in the world. 

Being number 7 most of those days are before my time and are but a shadowy memory at best.

 

(Here is what a couple pictures look like without having prison guards or parents on patrol)

Now that I am 14 and in high-school at Saint Monicas - mom has pretty much checked out and dad stays at work as much as possible--so it is like having the inmates running the asylum.

In the future they will discover something called the warrior gene. This, I'm sure, has been handed down to my family from our Viking ancestry. This genetic disposition is not on my mom's side of the family. There was still some "normal" in her that caused her to long for our family to be like other all the other plain wrap families in the world--but this was not to be.

Everything in our house was a competition. A simple game of croquet turned into World War II with croquet balls launched all the way down Harding Avenue into the Nargie's front yard and the round-missile-objects shot all the way down to the vacant lot where the Fraternity house use to be.

Croquet for the Lennons and Tripps and Blasers was probably just croquet. For us, it would invariability turn into a wrestling match--everything turned into a wrestling match, a boxing match, and a footrace if a chuckwalla, a Iguana or alligator ever got loose.

This is why our house was the center of the world. The Lennons wanted into the fun - the Blasers wanted to hang out here along with the the Tripps - the Grants and is why our house always seemed to be filled with a million people on every occasion.

Why sit around and watch Kung fu or Dick Van Dyke on TV when everyday was an episode of Sanford and Son meets the Adams Family and Dark Shadows--only our haunted house also had a Veloci-Raptor attack-rooster and a crop of luscious marijuana plants in the backyard just to make things more interesting.

(What it looked like then on our front steps)

(What the front steps looks like now with the Police showing up every other day)

Now that I was a Freshman in high school the older boys tried to recruit me into the hippy club and taught me how to smoke and roll a refer. I desperately wanted to be in the club - I wanted to be accepted - I wanted to feel like I was part of the menagerie of older brothers, but didn't want to jump in with both feet quite yet. I wanted to please the older guys and had to show some loyalty to the Wolf Pack by puffing from time to time, but wasn't ready to fully buy in to this whole hippy thing completely.

Making matters worse at Christmas Tony had given up on shopping at Pick and Save altogether. He figured that it was cheaper, more fun and added more to the overall the chaos by rummaging through the attic for junk he could wrap as presents. Then his gift giving digressed from the smelly old-broken stuff to stuff he would steal from someone's bedroom.

One of the highlights of this new Christmas tradition was when any one of of the older boys unwrapped a present allegedly from "Santa" that belonged to someone else all H. E. double toothpicks would break out. This awakens the Force of the Warrior Creed.

Wrestling would break out and bodies would spill out and onto the front lawn.

Dad seemed to enjoy it and acted just like the rest of us but none of this please my mother!

After three or four rounds of utter chaos Mrs. D would stomp her feet on every single tread of the staircase--all the way up to her room while saying things like, "Why couldn't we be more like the Lennons and the Blasers. Slamming her door she would lock her self in imagining what Christmas was probably like next door or down the street at the Lennons.



(Mom...Mrs. D Pictured this to the left...




but got something that looked more like this...to the right)

I could only image that this year after midnight mass upon entering the front door we would get the "Under-Pain-of-Mortal-Sin" speech again just before opening large sliding into the living room just seconds before we jumped onto the mountain of poorly wrapped presents under Mr. D's two dollar tree he finagled from the Troop 32, Boy Scout, Christmas tree lot.

We had a lot to look forward to. Zombies and Wrapping Paper Wars. The stolen presents, the wrestling matches, chaos and mayhem and you can be sure that those normal people would stop by - because they wanted in on the fun also. 

Joy to the World. Merry Christmas from me - Markie D - and from my family to you and yours... may your Christmas be less than normal, but Sacred none-the-less.  

Christmas at the Dahlins and Who stole baby Jesus?

I'm the baby in this picture... 

Erick and Mary 

Kurt  and Mom with Mary and Erick

Kurt and Karl 

Mary and (baby sister) Karin 

See! We really were adorable...at one time.  But all of that had changed.

Last time,  we left off with my brothers who had ambushed me and left me hanging by an ankle from the rope that was tied off to the top corbel of the highest most point of our roof. They plugged in the Christmas lights and quietly sneaked back to the hippy hut out back and left me dangling as night fell and people from all over Venice, Mar Vista, Culver City, and Santa Monica came to marvel at this years best Christmas light display!

Eventually, after swinging myself back and forth like a bazillion times, I gained enough momentum to thrust my body to grab the rope that was tied to my leg. Hand over hand, I used my Troop 32, Boy Scout, rope-climbing skills to make my way to the top of  the roof where I was able to catch my breath, untie the rope and also finish the job of pulling up the lights. When I got to the top, I had assumed the crowds that had gathered in the street watching my heroic performance would have applauded the intrepid accomplishment of a 13-year-old, instead they hissed and boo'd that the show was over and quickly dispersed.

Lazarus, the cat, was particularly grumpy that I had not fallen. She had waited the entire time to see if I would have landed on my feet - had the old, worn, rope broke. It was now just the two of us - me and the stupid cat. Standing on the peak of the roof, I stuck out my tongue taunting the scaly thing and shouted "there!" as if I had won and also to formally dismiss the disgusting creature that lingered - still hoping I would have fallen to my death.

By now, since I had survived all various episodes of being buried in "pits," the "arrows," the "monkeys," the "hamper of death," the "veloci-rooster," the "electrocutions," the "jalapenos," the "templates," the "alligator," the snake" and "Salton sea" I had proven to the proud cat that I indeed had more than nine lives (I WAS WINNING).  I grinned like the Cheshire Cat as Lazarus who raised it's head like a stuffy British Nobel - turned it's back on me and walked into the house.

Anyway, I had proven that I had a high threshold for pain and was pretty much unbreakable... and figured out the "Someone up there must be looking down on me."  

I went in by the manger scene we had on top of the piano in the entry and stole baby Jesus. The mynah-bird cussed as usual, and since no one was around and I was in no mood to tolerate the foul language - I slapped the cage and headed upstairs with Jesus. I had intended to have a conversation with the Baby.

We had eventually found poochie, our dog, that had been trapped in one of the cars in our fleet of non-operational piles of junk that we had pushed to the Thursday side of the street (for street cleaning) and had been trapped in there all week long.   Poochie, like me was strong. She a survivor. I think that's why we got along so well together.

Poochie.   Me.   And an antique, plaster-cast of baby Jesus.
                         The three of us were going to have a serious Christmas talk!

I barricaded myself in my room to prevent any kind of sneak attack by the notorious herbal-smoking "Wolf-Pack" and/or Ulrich and his angry little-man-crew, so I could have this serious Christmas chat without too much interruption.

I stared at the baby Jesus for a long time and then realized that if God did come down to earth - there were a whole lot better ways to do it.   But, He didn't consult me on it.  Chariots of fire.  Machine guns.  As Superman.  In a spaceship with laser beams or on fire with one foot setting down on one continent and one foot on another.

Take control. Show everyone who is the boss.

That's the way I would have written the story.  A Baby!  In a manger (an animal eating trough)? Pshaw...No way.

In a barn? Who wrote this story - God probably should have talked to me about it.

Stinky smelly animals.

Hay.
 
I don't think it was the plaster Jesus who had spoken to me, but this thought suddenly occurred to me... "vulnerability."

Like a mother and a new born child... I figured that it was only by this extreme act of ultimate vulnerability could humans be invited into this level of intimacy with the Creator of the universe.

If God came to this planet like a powerful super hero and exercised his authority all over the place as if to Lord over - who could draw close to him(or want to).  He came in vulnerable and he went out the same way. He took all of that power and surrendered it... humbling himself to die in such a disgraceful fashion on the the cross.

Hum...I looked at baby Jesus in new light and realized that he could totally identify with me... he chose to be vulnerable... he chose to be arrested... falsely accused... he chose to be the object of racism to the scorn of the proud Romans.. he chose to be mistreated... beat and crucified... This Baby came and lived in a way - not as the crazy king Herod... or Caesar Augustus... but as a human just like you and me.  

I figured this way he came and lived in a way to identity with me so that he could feel what I felt every time I was  mistreated so that I could identify with him... It was Brilliant actually...what better way to draw us into intimacy with the majestic power of the Universe.  The voice in my head said there was no better way. I smiled at baby Jesus and was glad that he didn't consult me in regards to his grand entrance into this world. Boy, would I have messed it up.

I tenderly tucked the painted, plaster-cast of baby Jesus on my pillow next to my head pondering the troubled condition of the world...floating off to sleep in deep thought...wondering if intimacy with God was something to be grasped... yet yearning for it...

...when I heard someone downstairs screaming,

"Hey, who stole baby Jesus!"  followed by the pounding of furious footsteps as an angry mob ascending the stairs - marching towards my room.

  God Jul ... Merry Christmas!