Machine Gun verses Small Stool (the wild conclusion) pt quatre

Conclusion (pt quatre) continued from part three.

Holding a small stool over my head like a weapon, the door flung open and I was staring down the barrel of a gun.

Not just any gun, but some type of semi-automatic rifle—a machine gun of sorts! Four guys stood in the hallway—two blocking the door open while the evil receptionist lurked in the shadows in background.

Do I strike the guy holding the gun?     Small aluminum stool verses Gun?      Gun wins!

The guy with the machine gun is wearing a bullet proof vest and is armed in riot gear. I breathe. It's the Police—three of them.

The officer holding the gun looks at me with suspicion and says, "This man here" motioning over his shoulder to sheepish-looking receptionist, "says you owe him money and that you might be..." (are you ready for this)... "that you might be BAD PEOPLE!"

Speechless—my mouth drops!    Us!       Bad People?

I can't believe it—my brain is frozen for a second—the guy is still holding the machine-gun that is strapped to his bullet-proof vest.

In a dramatic sweep of my arm I turn everyone's attention to the back corner of the room where my wife is standing and say (while pointing to her), "Do you see that lady over there? Look at her!" Suppressing rage... controlling my emotions to the best of my ability (with an-hours sleep in the past 64 hours)

I ask rhetorically, "Look. At. Her! Does. It. Look. Like. We. Are. Bad. People?"

Silence as they all look at Saint Kerry and know that there is something wrong with this guy's story.

Embarrassed they say, "This guy says you owe him money and he's afraid you will leave without paying."

Oh, this is the story he invented to tell the police as they came into the hotel.

Pupils pinpointed again and eyebrows furrowed I said, "What do you mean, we owe him money?"

Policeman with the gun. "He says, he lent you money from the register and is afraid you'll leave without paying."

I explained the situation. We have no Euros and had to use our card and the card didn't work and gave the guy more than sufficient American cash to hold the room and agreed to take care of it in the morning.  (I said all of this loud enough to wake up everyone on our floor—this injustice and this creep needed to be exposed).

All three policemen looked at me and then turned and looked at him. I said, "Wait..." as I walked across the room to the dresser and pulled out the signed letter showing that we had paid the guy and gave him plenty of American cash on deposit...handing it to the police. All three of them turn around and look at the guy in disbelief—realizing he had lied and we didn't owe him any money and that this story was nothing more than damage control—knowing he was busted.

They stared at him, waiting for an answer. Cowering against the back wall of the dimly lit corridor, he says, "I checked online. I should have charged them a transfer fee on the transaction and..." (WAIT FOR IT...YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS) "...they owe me 6 euros!"

                                                          6 euros is about 8 dollars

"Six Euros!" I shout. "Six Euros? Hold on. You mean to tell me that I had to fight this guy off and keep him from coming into my room at 4:00 in the morning for six Euros?!"

Still intentionally speaking loud enough for just about everyone on our floor to hear—What a crook, I thought. This guy was full of it and the police knew it.    Now, I wanted answers.

"You...(plural to all three policemen)...you ask him. PLEASE tell me why he felt that he had to break into my room at 4:00 in the morning. And ask him why I had to fight to keep him out for six Euros!

I. Need. To. Understand." I pleaded with them.

No one says a word!  The officer in the riot gear and with the semi-automatic machine-gun looks at my wife and beings to silently mouths the words "I sorry" over and over several times.

They refuse to throw him under the bus, however, we are at at stale mate. I walk to the dresser drawer pull out a $20.00 bill (American) shove it into the hand of the gun wielding officer and demand that he give it to the lying-cheating-swindler crouched in the shadows behind.

He hands the twenty dollars to the French-Mafioso and I insist that they also ask him why this guy felt it was so important to try to break into my room? Why I had to fight to keep him out? Why he changed his story and why all of this for a measly six Euros when we had an agreement and that we could have easily taken care of this in the morning?

I really did want an answer!   I. Asked. Them. To. Ask. The. Guy. "Why at 4:00 am in the morning?"

I wanted to know and I wanted to expose the guy for being a lying-pawn of the French-or-Turkish mafia who definitely had some type of ill-intent!

With no intention of leaving the place while it is still dark at 5:00 am in the morning, we barricade ourselves back in the room and anxiously wait until first light so we can flee safely.

The American Embassy calls back  to check in on us. They still can't believe it and ask if we have an exit strategy - because we needed to get away from that place as soon as possible.

Fully clothed we laid on the bed, hearts pounding, rehearsing the events over and over again trying to get it to make sense. We do the "pretend scenario" of the "nice receptionist" who is acting in innocence believing that we might try to rip him off— in this version he's the good guy—we're the bad people from his perspective and it just doesn't work out!

                                                     66 and 67 hours - one hour of sleep.

We leave in the morning. He's still there—again standing against the wall. I don't owe them a thing— I'm certainly not going to give them my credit card and I don't even ask for the money they owe me.

I tell the new receptionist (in front of God and everyone else in the hotel) that this was the worst night I have EVER had in a Hotel and that the man standing against the wall was a, "Bad-man"(using his language).

It was in vain. I don't think anyone understood my English. We left. Our debit card worked perfectly across the street and we found an Uber-driver in a Mercedes to take us to the Viking longboat!


 Hallelujah!

The veins in my neck still stand out when I tell this story, as if I am reliving it—still inside the room, pushing against the door—fighting for my life to keep a very evil person out.

Welcome to France.  How was our trip?

It's like someone asking Mrs. Lincoln on the night her husband was assassinated at the Ford theater, "Other than that Mrs. Lincoln did you like the show?"

Granted, I jest and it was not nearly the same thing, but "other than this" we loved every minute of our time in France.

Here are some pictures of  our time in France, and as a reminder, this quick flight to Paris from London was on brought on by the refugee crisis that had the The Chunnel back up for hours.

I think if is only fitting to realize that there are global issues of poverty, the need for clean water and perhaps the immediate crisis that should mobilize our hearts (with link below).

Eiffel Tower 

  random door Paris 

 through the clock at Musee D'Orsay

 The Louvre 

 Kerry at Monet's famous garden

 Notre Dame Cathedral of Rouen Normandy

Notre Dame of Rouen Lit up at night 

  360 degrees of breathtaking Stain Glass windows, La Sainte Chappelle, Paris. "The most beautiful stained glass windows in the world." 

 Inside Sainte Chappelle as the sun sets, making a magnificent light show while an ensemble plays Vivaldi's "Four Seasons"  

 Sunset over the Seine River

Being from Venice and being a Dahlin - means that there is never a dull moment!

Just as a reminder, this sudden hop over to Paris that landed us in the worst night of our life at the Hotel Balladins St Antony was because we tried to avoid The Chunnel due to the immigration crisis of those refugees fleeing Isis in Syria and Africa. Here is a link you can explore that might help you find some ways to get involved somehow in the greatest refugee crisis since WWII.        

      

  



           

Staring Down the Barrel of a Gun: Welcome to Paris pt trois

Continued 
“Let me in. Let me in” Insisted the ominous voice on the other side of the door.  I feel like I entered into an Alfred Hitchcock horror flick.  I’m in my chonies fighting off an intruder who is trying to break into my room. 

“Welcome to Paris”  

Mind racing: Dark corridor. Men with dark circles under their eyes smoking and eating Pizza at midnight in the lobby. A credit card that “Doesn’t work.”  The money I flashed for everyone to see (including the pizza-eating, cigarette smoking Mafioso).  A phone that doesn’t work. Mysterious phone calls. No security latch. 

And “No one knows we’re in France” – Kerry innocently told the nice receptionist.

I’m holding the door closed – adrenaline pumping – and from past experiences with the not-so-illustrious “Wolf Pack” (my big brothers and their hippie tribe) I knew it was dangerous for less than three people at one time to attack me.  I COULD HOLD MY OWN.

There would be blood!  Whatever reason this guy or these guys felt they had to get into my room at 4:00 am in the morning – it had better be good enough for them to die over.

Though I was in my underwear, (don’t visualize it – just accept it), I had the stool in one hand and was prepared to defend Kerry and knew that it might come to bloodshed!  

IT WASN'T GOING TO BE MINE!

“You’re not getting into this room” I said holding the door against the frame (like the Grinch when he had the strength of 10 Grinches or like the mother who, with superhuman strength, lifts the car off her child.  

 Picture of Kerry lifting mini-cooper 

“I need to come into your room” said the all-too-familiar voice… as though this was perfectly normal, twisting the key in the lock.

“Why!” I shouted hoping to wake up anyone who might happen to be in adjoining rooms.

“Umm…you left your key in the door and I want to return it to you.” 

Lamest thing I ever heard. “Slide it under the door” I said incredulously, freak out that at 4:00 am I had to be fighting off a guy who says he needs to return my key that was left in the door and needed to get in.       Nothing made sense!  

I was sure this guy was a pawn of the sinister-looking-Mafia-guys and wanted to bust into our room. “Take the key downstairs – we don’t need it”

Whispering, I asked Kerry to look for our key to see if this guy was telling the truth.  I'm positive that he wants to steal our passports and money and I quietly tell Kerry to hide both of our passport holders.

But where? They’ll find it a dresser drawer and under the mattress, I thought, so I told her to throw them on top of the large, tall-freestanding closet.

“I need to get into your room…” He said still unlocking the door and pushing against.  “I need to give you your key back”

 

“Go away – you’re not coming in” I said pushing back against him. Then in a stroke of brilliance, I said “I’m calling the Policia” and told Kerry to push the bedside tables over to me.

We both knew "calling the police" was an empty threat - we didn’t know that phone number.  

Building a pretty secure barricade the two of us began looking for a phone book or for emergency numbers that should be posted somewhere.

No phone book

No emergency numbers listed on the back of the door.

        ... and no Gideon Bible ... btw. 

What do we do?

Shrugging my shoulders – I looked at Kerry who knew that we had no way of calling the police.

 My mind raced. How would we get out of this predicament?  “Kerry” I screamed loudly for him and anyone else in the hotel to hear “Call the police!” 

She shrugged back, knowing that she didn’t have an international calling plan and that we had no phone number.      Mission Impossible! 

What were we going to do and was this going to end in some kind of fight to the death?

We couldn’t call Kerry’s mom – she’d freak out and have a heart attack.

Who could we call for help?  We wracked out brains. 

Caryl!  Caryl knows France – she loves Paris – and she knows some French. It’s 4-dark-30 in the morning here and I think 7:30 pm, Sunday night back in Sacramento.  

We call.                      Caryl answers her phone.      Yay! 

We tell her the story. She’s now as worried as we are and begins an Google search. She gives me the French equivalent of our 911.

I try˗no good. 

I try with country code – no good.

I call Caryl back. Tell her to look up number the police department. She does, but tells us that in the meantime she looked up Hotel Scams on the internet and that this was most definitely a scam.  

She says she looked up the Hotel Balladins and found that a lady had her purse stolen while she was dining at the hotel restaurant. I knew it! This place is shady. "You need to call the police and call the American Embassy." she said.    

Meanwhile, the guy on the outside of the door says, he’s calling the police.

"Why?" That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard.  What's he going to do...tell them that he tried to break into our room in the middle of the night and has two American tourists trapped and freaked out of their mind”  I thought.

While barricaded in our room, we call the police and tell them the story. They have to transfer me to a different department. Ughhhh! I have to say the same urgent speech all over again. The officer tells me in broken English that he doesn’t feel like it’s such a big deal.  I repeat, “We’re tourist. We’re in your country and we're afraid. Please come.” The officer on the phone says he will personally be coming.

Hearts beating at (only about) a million beats-per-second. We put on our clothes and remain vigilant at the door.  

We call the American Embassy. They are freak out! They say that this is totally inappropriate. They have never heard of such a thing and that no one is to come into our room in the middle of the night – not even the police.  They take down our names, our hotel and phone number.  I tell them that we are frightened, but waiting for the police to arrive.  

Another knock on the door. It was a soft rap on the door like the first time. It sounded just like familiar tapping of the evil man who had tried to break in. OH, AND GUESS WHAT? DID I FAIL TO TELL YOU THAT THERE WAS NO PEEP-HOLE IN THE DOOR?

Dark hallway. No security latch. No peep-hole. 

"It's the police" a voice says.  

I don’t know if it is the police or a rouse. Is it the bad guys trying to fake me out? Do I open the door?  There was a tinge of nervousness in the voice of the man behind the door that I didn’t like. Should I trust it and open the door? 

I gave Kerry the look that I didn’t think we had any other option, but to open the door. 

I told the man that I wasn’t sure that I should and didn’t know how to trust if he was indeed the police. Grabbing the stool and holding it over head, Kerry and I removed the end tables and cautiously cracked the door open.

The door flung open. A foot was planted against the open door and another body quickly took a position in the door frame.

With my weapon (small stool) ready to strike and with all kinds of angry emotion all over my face - I was staring down the barrel of a gun!   




(This is my blog word limit. I apologize, but will have to continue this epic Dahlin saga in my next post)

  

French Horror Story: Hotel new season begins

THE DAHLIN EFFECT part deux    

                      THE PARIS NIGHTMARE

We apologize for interrupting the life of 14-year-old Markie D to bring you this True life adventure of Epic proportion (part 2.. continued from last time ).

So just after the car-crash I made peace in the village by dancing with the crazy guy.

 Crazy Guy 

I had to show them the moves of the dancing Azungu (the white guy) from Venice. 

Sometimes - I think-  you think - I make this stuff up.. BUT IT'S TRUE!

and I played music with the kids

and so "The Dahlin Effect" is not just one of trouble that follows us around from VENICE around the world like this terrible car crash shown above - BUT it is also the ability to take a bad situation and to turn it into a party - just add Markie D and music... 

In the words of Steve Miller... "Come on and Dance"  Just like King David did before the Lord. 

However, this "Terrible, Wonderful, No Good, Rotten, Horrible" first night in Paris was indeed one of the worst nights in the rich, adventurous life of Markie D. This night proved to be even worst than the time we were kidnapped in Puerto Vallarta...                                                                                                               Kerry (pictured to right - 1981 just before being kidnapped) along with Kris, Theresa, Jane, Mary and me... Let me just say this - "Don't hitch hike in Mexico."   

Regarding Paris... remember this - all of those ads you see on the internet... not all of the options on those hotel websites turn out as promised... "all that glitters is not gold"

We needed a last minute reservation because of the "Chunnel" issues (the English Channel Tunnel) taking place at the time in regards to the immigration crisis.  

I had flown into Heathrow (London) from Malawi through Johannesburg South Africa and met Kerry there.  Knowing there might be delays in the Chunnel we booked a flight to Paris a day early. 

      

On the internet - the pictures of the hotel of the rooms and the price looked really good... 50% OFF... I WIN!  Taking the taxi from the airport, we arrived after 11:00 at night to something that looked more like this... only darker and that smelled of smoke because of the scary dudes in the lobby.  

Anyway, I promised you a story that involved the French police and the American Embassy.

Upon arriving, the taxi-driver who earlier said he could take our debit card (that had been set up with a chip specifically for international travel with France on the itinerary)...NOW said we owed him Euros.  We only had our debit card and American Money and $2000 in Kwacha (Malawi money worth about $4.00 American). 

He tried to use our card and it didn't work for some reason.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         DILEMMA - how do we get out of this jam?  Kerry goes into the hotel looking for someone who can speak English - the nice receptionist comes out to our rescue and says he'll pay the taxi bill from his till as long as we book the room and can add it to our hotel charges.                                                                                                                                  Very grateful... we have no option, but to accept his generous offer.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            YEAH - Jubilation I felt like I was back on the top of Mount Soché

I was with my bride of 33 years and now everything was fine and good in the world.  

Then - UGHHHHHHH... we get inside and my card didn't work - I just fixed this with Wells Fargo while at Heathrow Airport in London. 

There shouldn't be a problem... nothing can go wrong... go wrong... go wrong... unless of course it does! 

He swiped my card 4 times... my phone is running low on battery - because of all the flight changes and online hotel reservations... etc ...etc. 

I don't have enough battery power left to call Wells Fargo and scream at them. SO we dig through our luggage, find our Europe-power-adapters and converters and plug into an outlet twenty-some feet away from the front desk where Kerry stands with the "very nice receptionist" (you should see the sarcasm dripping off my face as I type those words).

 Let me put it this way -  he seemed nice at the time. 

With my face near the carpeted stairs tethered to my USB adapter I begin in a very nice and calm (I try) conversation with Wells Fargo Fraud Department.  I need them to activate my card in France... They assure me that France was on my travel itinerary all the time and that the card works...

I haven't slept in about 60 hours and I am trying not to scream at the supervisor at Well Fargo... "I'm here in a hotel. I'm watching the guy swipe my card and it's not working. MAKE IT WORK NOW!"

"Sir, your card works"

"SIR, I beg to differ, my card is not working."

Hotel guy tries my wife card...4 X's    FOUR TIMES... it doesn't work. Now past midnight - 61, 62 hours of no sleep. Sleep is all I want to do right now.  I tell The Wells Fargo guy that I'm not letting him off the phone until I get this resolved. "Midnight in Paris"

30 minutes into this... bent over.. necked craned...tired....He tells me that my card is working... I ask, "How long does it take until you see something on his computer screen when a customer swipes a debit card?"

"10 seconds" he replies. "If someone swipes your card it will show up here on my screen in 10 seconds."

"Then why isn't it showing up" I protested... as the "nice receptionist" swipes my card again. 

Nothing. 

I make a deal with the receptionist fellow.  I pull my hidden travel passport and money holder out from under my shirt.  I pull out American cash and tell him I will overpay in American money that he can hold my money until morning as a security deposit and then I will go to ATM and get Euros and pay him and he can give my money back.  

We strike a deal. My over-payment includes the money for the taxi. He looks up the exchange rate and tells me how much American money I need to give him to hold until we clear every thing up in the morning.

By this point I really don't care about the dark-eyed thugs who see me pull out my wad of cash. I pay what he wants, and tuck the passport-holder back under my shirt - knowing the I just showed all of this to the sinister looking dudes smoking in the corner and eating Pizza at midnight.  Even in my deliriously, drowsy-state I felt like this was a mistake in my gut. But, oh well, we're in Paris - the city of romance - what could happen?  

We get off on the third floor - a dark corridor - and after 63 hours... after 1:00 am, we finally crash! 

Oh, did I forget to tell you that even in my sleep-depraved state I asked the guy to type up a letter saying that I overpaid him in American cash to be held on deposit for the room. Oh and did I say that I made him make a copy and made both of us sign - Both Copies...this just isn't like me - BUT I DID!  

Weird! Right?   (Upon retelling this story I had people shocked in disbelief say, "That was the Holy Spirit" 

About an hour and a half later our phone began ringing... ANNOYING! I rose from the bed like a Zombie and answered the phone... EXCEPT no one was there - ONLY static... 

3 X's THREE TIMES.. this happened.. static every time.... on the forth time, I leave the phone off the hook... I NEEDED SLEEP - WE BOTH NEEDED SLEEP! 

Then our door handle began to shake... I'm practically dead... Kerry elbows me... 

I jump up in my chonies.... adrenaline pumping... with all the superpowers I had when I was a kid having to fight off  the hordes of hippies of ill-intent... and grab the handle and am fighting against someone who is trying to push the door open... 

Do I need to rehearse everything that is going through my brain?

1) A hotel that is not in the best part of town - (don't judge me - couldn't tell from the picture).

2) A dark - unlit corridor

3) Turkish mafia - men with dark circles under their eyes  - smoking in the lobby

4) A card that "Doesn't" work - so said the "nice" receptionist. 

5) A card that Wells Fargo assured me "worked" and the tracking software to tell within 10 seconds whether it's been swiped...or not.  

6) I had flashed wads of American money to everyone in the lobby. 

7) Kerry had told him our sad story of how we were supposed to be in England... (let me draw this one out for you ... NO ONE knows were in FRANCE!)

8) A phone that rings and there is only static...one the other end... (let me draw this one out - it reminded me of the horror flick "When a Stranger Calls" 

LET ME PUT IT THIS WAY - I was not dancing... and this had to be "The Dahlin EFFECT"  

Oh and did I tell you... NUMBER NINE ... ("neuf" in French) THERE WAS NO SECURITY LATCH ON THE DOOR!   

The receptionist (and who-ever-else) had our key in the door and was trying to get into our room at 3:53 in the morning. 

ADRENALINE - as a matter of fact, it is pumping now through my veins as I write this story...

Someone was going to die and it wasn't me... I actually felt sorry for who-ever-it-was that was trying to break into our room...  I could visualize my picture on the front of some French newspaper with blood all over my hands standing over three dead bodies...

As I fought to keep this guy (who was pushing on our door to get in) - I told my frightened wife, Kerry to find me some weapon I could fight this guy or these guys off with... she found a small stool that I was now holding in a death grip as I screamed at the guy telling him I would not let him in... and that he had better be prepared to die for what-ever-it-was that was so important that he had to get in at 4:00 am in the morning...  I have to admit - I WAS FREAKED... as I fought to keep the door closed with my hand tightly wrapped around the tiny round-lock-lever-thingy he turning the other direction with the key in order to get into the room.

HELLO.... We're in France - and couldn't even call the police if we had the number... I don't know their 911 and don't the country code... 

My ribs hurt... I'm breathing to hard... I need to stop - seriously... Until next time. 

The only thing that was wonderful about this"Terrible, Wonderful, No Good, Rotten, Horrible" first night in Paris was that I got to meet my wife after being out in the bush in Africa after three weeks... WHERE - I happened to feel perfectly safe in the Warm Heart of Africa... 

Meanwhile, I feel like the babysitter with the stranger in the house... 

Oh, by the Way - did I tell you this is TRUE...   

Picture credits... me; Poster Wikipedia; Pycho Wikipedia; Hotel Balladins - Booking.com