Part 1 The TRAGIC TALE: The First day of School

For those of you who have tuned in from around the world... those of you in Russia, Germany, South Korea, France, U.K., Japan, Thailand, Canada and Mexico... these Markie D stories are true... This is the story of a youngest boy in a large Catholic family during the mid-Sixties.

On the first day of school we have a custom we have here in the United States where the teacher would often ask the students to tell what we did over the summer.

Every year it is same same boring stuff from the regular kids like, "I went camping with my family," "I got a bloody nose," "I went to the local pool and swam with friends..." I always resisted raising my hand and sharing anything about my family... because we were JUST SO DIFFERENT from the rest of the world. We were so bizarre, that if some of our adventures didn't end up on the front-page of the newspaper, no one would ever believe that these stories were true (read about the time we let the monkeys out of the LA zoo - post 4/29/2013).

WELL... as usual, on the first day of fifth grade... Sr. Godzilla asked if we would like to share what we did over the summer.

As the other NORMAL kids got up to share I slid down in my seat to take cover.

To be honest I cannot remember one thing another student said... because I  was scared to death that someone might find out about what happened to me on our family vacation to Salton Sea over the summer.



The way my dad tells the story, Salton Sea is a mistake - an accident that happened in about 1905 that filled the Imperial Valley (that is east of San Diego and North of the Mexican boarder) with a bunch of water that spilled over from the Colorado river.



At some time in the late 50's some brilliant developers decided that this area was bound to become a resort destination that would rival Palm Springs. It was in the hot, hot, hot...(I did say hot, right?), desert with a great big body of water. "How could it not succeed" they thought. A beautiful body of inland water in the desert. "A virtual paradise" they said as they decided to grade the west side with roads for the purpose of building homes... Thousands and thousands of beautiful desert homes.. only 200 miles away from Los Angeles. Could it get any better than this? 

My dad was a real estate broker and was recruited to make the 200 mile drive to Salton Sea to sell these vacant lots with the promises of being the new Palm Springs "Only Better"

(Good looking guy, right?)

Well, anyway he was gone a lot that left us mainly to ourselves, mom locked herself in her room which left the inmates to run the asylum (the inmates were my older brothers (they were called the Wolf Pack by neighbors).

I think this chaos was an attraction for some of the Blasers and Lennons from the normal families that we were surrounded by.


Context is everything. I already mentioned that across the street from us were the best Catholics in the whole of the universe. The famous Lennon Sisters... Look at how awesome they are...

In their front window was a statue of the Blessed Virgin Mary  





It was not unusual to find... well...

animal control officers because of our ever escaping rattlesnakes and reptiles and the Venice Police Department looking for one of my brothers.

and this...the scene to the right is a common, yet tame version of what you might expect to find in front of our Venice home.










You might also find, the good 'O "Borrrego" one of our trash barges parked in the drive way.


If you look over the top of the truck (at about 2 O'clock in the background) behind the trees you can see the famous Lennon Sister's house - white with green trim.





Indulge me and allow me to paint a picture of contrast.

I don't mean to overuse this picture - but what a great picture of  of their family!





THEIR FAMILY












MY FAMILY!


But, what I didn't tell you before is that besides the Lennons on the corner, we had another Lennon family across the street and in addition to that, we had another Lennon family right next door to us..

Yes, we were surround by amazing, regular, and normal families all related - 31 kids in all in the three houses... not counting the other Lennon family around the corner with 13 kids.

My family was surrounded by perfection - by clean yards - with flowers. There we were in the middle of all the 60's Americana - like a great big throbbing thumb that had been crushed by a hammer.

We invented the phrase - "Stood out like a sore thumb."

Okay, back to our story of the first day of class... I think it is important to know that when regular people (like the Blasers) took their vacations - they went to the Holiday Inn "Where kids stay free" not us... are you kidding?

We went to the glorious shores of the 'O Salton Sea... We herded all the kids and stragglers into our station wagon, shoving bodies in every crevice and into the trailer...

That's the actual trailer - but years later!  

After shoving everybody into our gold, hand-painted Dodge station wagon and cramming bodies into thing we called a trailer, we headed off for the Salton Sea and flopped out on the ground onto the hot volcanic dirt - Where everyone stays for free...!

"HA!  Got you beat Lennons!"

I guess I have to continue this tale of tragic woe next time. 

Stay tuned... same bat channel... same bat time...

 ...until then - be NORMAL, get out and mow your lawn.