The Last Supper only with Jalapenos

I apologize that it has been about a million years since I have had a minute to sit down and write another post. It is just after Mother's Day, but I strongly urge that none of you moms read this latest post!

This was one of those very horrible pranks that was much more than just a practical joke. Instead, it was  more like something Jack Bauer would do on the TV show 24 to interrogate a terrorist. (I was reminded of this story by someone who had told me his firsthand eyewitness account, when I was last down in Southern California).

The only thing I can't be sure of is the exact date. I can get close, however, by the diligent investigative historical analysis of source criticism (I will pick the year 1963: 1. Because our pool had to be up and operational i.e before the alligator, before Veloci-rooster 2. It was during a period that the back patio was clean 3. The pool also must have been clean and not a greenish-mosquito breeding swamp - 4. It had to be after the time this person began hanging around, if he was an eyewitness... I'm feeling like a New Testament scholar or something like that).

Anyway, my parents were were throwing a big bash in the backyard that had been decorated in a Hawaiian theme for the neighbors (that's why it had to be before the crazy Veloci-Raptor-attack rooster). I remember the decorations of fishing nets, cork buoys and palm trees. Sorry for borrowing from the Queen's English, but it was a "hoity-toity" affair and us young kids were not allowed. They had a record player and an open bar and I spied on the event from a clandestine spot from my mother's bedroom window, which had the perfect view.

I know what a lot of you are thinking already, "Don't tell me that a member of the notorious Wolf Pack threw you out of the window?" NO!  It was worst than that - at least to an seven-year-old kid, it was!

This was the end of a bad year...our Catholic President had been assassinated - the Vietnam war was escalating and  Frank Sinatra Jr had just been kidnapped up by Lake Tahoe somewhere. The whole world was mad - maybe that explains this whole incident - maybe this wasn't my brother's fault - maybe something was just wrong with the world. Or maybe a couple of the older boys were mad that they couldn't come downstairs to the party and somehow figured they'd get back at my parents or perhaps it was that they could still be the center of attention, though locked far away in the proverbial "tower."

I was minding my own business, as I spied on my parent's party below, when I was jumped on and attacked by a couple brothers. I fought back, but couldn't take all three of them. Marvel comics had just come out with this new super hero person called Iron Man, and boy, do I wish I was made of steel, so I had a chance of fighting back and so that that my human exterior could have withstood their devious plot. But I wasn't, and my outside was made of skin instead like any regular 'O person and I couldn't fight them off.

Let's just put it this way - what happened next - ended the party when everyone... not just everyone at the party, but everyone in the entire neighborhood heard the painful and blood curdling screeching as though they had heard the death cry of 7-year-old succumbing to advanced interrogation at Quantanamo!

Helppppp!


 I'll finish this one tomorrow - but mommas, be warned and do not let the tender ears of your children hear this story or you just might risk the fact that they might be scarred for life...      

"Judas, do what you must do quickly"