The Night Walker and...THE FIRE!

The large turn-of-the-century home was a blazing inferno... windows were shattering from the heat and cars in the parking lot were bursting into flame.  Tires sent up black smoke as the gas tanks in those cars blew up one after another. It looked like a scene from the battle-lines in Vietnam. The Vietnam War vet, who was renting a room across the street, began having flashbacks and climbed the to top of  the three story "Pink-House" with a broom - holding it like a sniper with a M16. Hthe crazy guy sat up there taking shots of the enemy as though he was reliving some hellish nightmare that no one should ever have to experience. He shot me twice; once I fell down pretending to be dead, but thought -that maybe -it wasn't too cool.  Though he was perfectly harmless, the poor fella had to be talked down by the police in the midst chaotic mêlée on Harding Avenue that night.

Meanwhile, the clandestine guest - i.e the girls who had been smuggled in, were trapped on the second floor and screeched louder than the sirens of the long awaited firetrucks in blood-curdling cries of shrill terror. The temperature on the second floor was close to reaching flashpoint and old dry timber of the wainscoting was not far from combustion. By this time the stupid Frat-guys on the second floor realized they were trapped and began running around in their underwear screaming louder than the girls, knowing that they had only seconds to escape before being incinerated into a pile of carbon ashes.

Before I finish that story...let me clear some names from my previous list of suspects!

Last time, I have removed the Nuns and Walter Daniels from my list and had discovered that the "Gillemonster" had a perfectly good alibi (that's the "dog-poop story" - which I'll share later). For now, I think it's important to eliminate by bestest friend Tommy from the list. Although he was the youngest person who was considered a possible arsonist, the unique and complex nature of his two-fold condition placed him squarely at the top of the Fire Marshal's suspect list.

Although Tommy was several years younger than me, being right next door, we were best buddies!  Tommy liked to light matches... he would find his dad and my dad's Real Estate Business matchbooks and set fire to just about everything he could. Nothing big, but it did bother his mother. She was pretty concerned about him chewing his fingernails, but was even more worried that he might set fire to something someday and spend much of his eternity in purgatory.  To make matters more complicated, Tommy had a very rare disease; somnambulism. Yes, he was a somnambulant.  I know what some of you are asking:
 "What the heck is somnambulism?"

"Idoes it have to do with haviing air bubble in the blood-veins near his brain stem?"

"Somnambulance...hey, does it have something to do with an ambulance?

"What, does the kid do? Does this disease make him run around like a chicken with its head cut off screaming as though he were an ambulance."

"Is it medical? Delusional? What is it?"

In answer to your questions it does as a matter of fact, have to do with the word ambulance! But first, let's clear this up...it's not really a disease- his mother told me, rather it's a very rare condition. The word ambulance comes from the Latin word 'ambulare' which when translated means to move about. Hence the words ambulance and ambulatory.

"Is he retarded?"

No, he's not a retard... just a little special. When most people are fast asleep he has the propensity to move about... Turns out...Tommy is a certified Sleep Walker!

I was at his house one time and stopped him from going pee in the refrigerator; another time I stopped him from going pee in the kitchen trash and on another sleep over I stopped him from walking down to Kippy's house. Kippy is his cousin, one of the Lennon's who lives on the corner opposite from the fire. The poor kid did all kinds of weird things in the middle of the night and when it was all over - had no recollection at all. TRUE!

With his predilection of lighting things on fire and walking around in the middle of the night -all fingers pointed to him. Even his own mother thought he might have been responsible. So I guess the best news was that on this particular night I was having a sleep over in the two story fort that his dad built in their backyard.  They didn't have snakes and a Veloci-Rooster and a chicken-eating-frog and a mosquito breeding pond in their backyard - they were just normal people. Well, mostly - whatever normal means...but around 11:00 O'clock at night.. I did have to get up and play kick ball for a couple minutes while Tommy was in one of his sleep-states, but the fire didn't happened until much later - after he was settled back in and strapped into the loft in his sleeping bag.  I WAS HIS ALIBI.

Tommy's name goes off the List.

1) My tribe...the Wolf Pack

2) Mr. Blaser

3) Mr. D (that's my dad)

4) Mr. Lennon

5) Frank Nargie

6) Rita Nargie

7) Sea-Shell

8) Leeland

9) Weenie Tripp

10) Johnny Gillemot

11 Tommy Blaser

12) Four boys dressed as girls

13) The Nuns at Saint Marks who lived just behind the house.

14) Walter Daniels 

15) Crazy, Anti-War, Peace-loving members from an opposing Fraternity

16) The Owner of the property.

As for the "Tighty-Whities" (that's what we call tight, white underwear in the United States), Mr. Blaser believing his match wielding - night-walking son may have had something to do with and feeling a sense of responsibility, shot out of bed and ran across the street in his bun-tight skives after hastely slipping into his "Sunday-come-to-meeting" Black polished Real Estate shoes.   WHAT A SIGHT!

His underwear provided him with the alibi he needed as someone who was in bed at the time that the explosive devise went through the window of the old house.
Therefore Mr. Blaser goes off the list.  

1) My tribe...the Wolf Pack

2) Mr. Blaser

3) Mr. D (that's my dad)

4) Mr. Lennon

5) Frank Nargie

6) Rita Nargie

7) Sea-Shell

8) Leeland

9) Weenie Tripp

10) Johnny Gillemot

11 Tommy Blaser

12) Four boys dressed as girls

13) The Nuns at Saint Marks who lived just behind the house.

14) Walter Daniels 

15) Crazy, Anti-War, Peace-loving members from an opposing Fraternity

16) The Owner of the property.

Weenie didn't do it! Her sister Kathy was out on a date...she didn't do it. Their brother Bobby was on top of the Tripp house right next door with a garden hose trying to prevent their house from catching their house on fire.  It wouldn't have made any sense for any of the Tripps - so I they go off the list - yep, all them including little Ricky!

 1) My tribe...the Wolf Pack

2) Mr. Blaser

3) Mr. D (that's my dad)

4) Mr. Lennon

5) Frank Nargie

6) Rita Nargie

7) Sea-Shell

8) Leeland

9) Weenie Tripp and family: brothers sisters, mom, dad.

10) Johnny Gillemot

11 Tommy Blaser

12) Four boys dressed as girls

13) The Nuns at Saint Marks who lived just behind the house.

14) Walter Daniels 

15) Crazy, Anti-War, Peace-loving members from an opposing Fraternity

16) The Owner of the property.

My list was shrinking... meanwhile my dad had joined Mr. Blaser in the rescue of the guys and girls who were trapped on the second floor.  My hairy brothers, along with Donny Blaser, climbed up like cockroaches on top of each other to the balcony and formed a human ladder for the half-naked half-intoxicated refugees to use as a human fire escape.


By the time the firemen got there, half-clad people were running around all over the place. To me it seemed like the scene that I pictured in the the bible where it describes the resurrection in Jerusalem when bodies came out of the grave and began walking around.       ZOMBIES!

Our neighborhood was now filled with wild Zombies...  the pandemonium from a blazing inferno... that included cars exploding and a crazy guy on top of third story turret taking shots at people with a broom handle. Let me tell you - it doesn't get any CRAZIER THAN THIS... A real Helter Skelter it was... Paul McCartney can thank us for the lyrics to the Beatles new song.

The night was still young and Chewbacca has spotted something below the ancient palm in the front yard of the blazing inferno...

For you android users Paul McCartney Helter Skelter

Oh, by the way...just in case you were wondering, the first ambulance was developed in France by Dominique-Jean Larrey in the 1700s.

The Nuns Claimed They Had an Alibi

The Great Disaster of 1969...continued from last post!

The last time I didn't have the Nuns or the Daniels on the suspect list for the tragic fire on Harding Ave. I would venture a guess that living directly behind the "Frat-House," would automatically put both of them my long list of possible suspects. 

1) My tribe...the Wolf Pack
2) Mr. Blaser
3) Mr. D (that's my dad)
4) Mr. Lennon
5) Frank Nargie
6) Rita Nargie
7) Sea-Shell
8) Leeland
9) Weenie Tripp
10) Johnny Gillemot
11 Tommy Blaser
12) Four boys dressed as girls
13) The Nuns at Saint Marks who lived just behind the house.
14) Walter Daniels 
15) Crazy, Anti-War, Peace-loving members from a real Fraternity

 and NUMBER 16 was "The Conspiracy Theory" - not a man on the grassy knoll, but...
 16) The Owner of the property - himself.

At first when I heard the sound of explosions and saw the black smoke of car tires that had caught on Fire, I thought the Nunnery was burning (the Nunnery is the Saint Marks Convent where the Sisters lived - sort of like a Monastery). I spent the night next door at the Blaser's house in Tommy's "way groovy" two-story fort with the sleeping-loft and asphalt shingle roof.  Screaming like a firetruck - I hopped over the fence into my backyard - avoided the Veloci-Rooster and began ringing the old rusted fire bell in order to awaken the neighborhood (the same fire alarm, procured by spurious means, which had been screwed to the back porch of our home that my mom used to call the Wolf  Pack in for feeding time). 

It was in the middle of the night and I guess it was good thing I did clang that bell, because the burning house was full of motley college "want-a-be's" who were trapped inside.

Someone threw a fire bomb through the large front window of the ancient house and it went up like a dry box of matches. The fire quickly spread up the grand staircase in the entry, cutting off the only means of escape for those caught on the second story.

A week later, as the house laid waste in a pile of burnt rubble and the neighborhood still smelled of smoke...I took my detective notepad and paid the Nuns a visit! To tell you the truth, I really hoped it was one of the Catholic Sisters, because they were mean to me...and I had a secret desire that at least one of them would end up in prison.

By the time I got to the 3th grade, and the 4th grade, and the 5th grade, and the 7th grade, they already had 7 Dahlins come through their classrooms giving the nuns so much grief that they felt it was time for payback... AGAINST ME!

They especially felt justified because of my special condition, lack of focus, and what they called "hyper-activity." I had always thought it was a superpower until I heard them talking about it behind my back. That might help explain the whole "Cloak-Room thing" I did behind Sister Edith's back (See blog post 9/2/13)

I guess I really shouldn't have blamed them, and later went to confession telling Father Sheldon of my secret sin. Only after 32 "Our Father's," 63 "Hail Mary's" and a couple dozen "Confiteors" the guilt of my sin was finally absolved. I wanted a letter from the Pope, but that never came. 

But still, if it had been Sister Godzilla who lit the fire - I might have turned her in.

The Nuns probably had the greatest motive of anyone on the list: Loud partying, carousing, cursing, drinking, drugs, girls and boys living together in sin...every single night - practically right there on their backdoor steps.

A quick slip out the backdoor - and bam - one of the penguin clad nuns under the darkness of night could start the fire and slip back in practically unnoticed.

Upon investigative inquiry by interrogating the nuns... one by one they corroborated each others testimony and had an iron clad alibi. Turns out, that none of the Catholic Sisters had any knowledge of how to make an incendiary device of this kind and other than communion wine - had no access to the specific type of alcohol for the creation of a Molotov Cocktail. Sister Godzilla did tell me in private that if she knew how to make one, the "Fraternity house" would have been gone long ago (I'm sure that will take some "Our Father's and Hail Mary's"). 

 Shucks, they were my best suspects and were now off the list.

Although they lived right behind the "Frat-House," Walter and his family dropped off the list - because he liked to party there on occasion and would have done anything to, "keep it all copacetic...man"

When I told told Four-Eyes about the things the nuns said which I wrote down on my little pad...he said he thought it might make some good song lyrics. I thought he was crazy. He typed them up and sent them to a Mr. John Fogerty of some hippie group called Creedence Clearwater Revival. I told him he was stupid and those words would never make it into a song - Not Ever!

The Nuns talked about how every time they looked out their backdoor they saw strange, bizarre and weird stuff that looked like giants doing cartwheels late at night - they saw things that looked like statues wearing High Heels (I think that may have been my brothers dressed up like girls trying to get in) and of course happy creatures dancing on the lawn (that part was true).

This is what Four Eyes scripted...   
"Doo, doo, doo, Looking out my back door.
There's a giant doing cartwheels,
A statue wearing high heels.
Look at all the happy creatures dancing on the lawn... " and some other nonsensical stuff like that.

The doo-doo part was compliments of Johnny Gillemonster...

I will have to tell you that story of intrigue and dog-poop that would eventually clear his name from the list below.
 

1) My tribe...the Wolf Pack

2) Mr. Blaser

3) Mr. D (that's my dad)

4) Mr. Lennon

5) Frank Nargie

6) Rita Nargie

7) Sea-Shell

8) Leeland

9) Weenie Tripp

10) Johnny Gillemot

11 Tommy Blaser

12) Four boys dressed as girls

13) The Nuns at Saint Marks who lived just behind the house.

14) Walter Daniels 

15) Crazy, Anti-War, Peace-loving members from an opposing Fraternity

16) The Owner of the property.

In the mean time- everyone's name needs to be cleared, since I was running the investigation and I guess I'll have to tell you about the details of the gruesome 4-alarm fire...the daring rescue and how a a pair of underwear i.e. whitie-tighties help clear one suspect from the list.

Until next time...  sleep safe... say your prayers and.... vet att du är älskad

                                                                                     
Android users Lookin' out my backdoor 

The Great Fire: Who-Dunnit

The list of suspects was long: for the GREAT FIRE "WHO-DUNNIT"

1) My tribe...the Wolf Pack
2) Mr. Blaser
3) Mr. D (that's my dad)
4)Chet Young
5) Frank Nargie
6) Charles Manson
7) Sea-Shell
8) Leeland the want-to-be hot rodder
9) Weenie Tripp
10) Johnny Gillemot
11 Tommy Blaser
12) Four boys dressed as girls
13 The Nuns at Saint Marks who lived just behind the house
14) Crazy, Anti-War, Peace-loving members from an opposing Fraternity

 and NUMBER 14 was "The Consipiracy Theory" - not a man on the grassy knoll, but...
 15) The Owner of the property.

This unsolved mystery turned out to be the greatest disaster on Harding Avenue and third biggest crime in the History of Venice CA.

On our short block on Harding avenue, we had 5 large turn-of-the-century houses with the Lennon Sisters occupying one of these grand masterpieces on the opposite end of the street and us right-smack-dab in the middle.  If this was just a story and not true life, it would have been written this way to symbolically suggest that we were in the geographical center of the universe - and for all intents and purposes WE WERE!

In the picture shown here - practically every car seen was one of ours...except for the Lincoln Continental parked in the driveway next door.  This picture was taken a couple of years ago and you can see my best friend, Tommy, and my little sister, Kjersten playing out front. At this time, however, Tommy was about 9 and loved to play with matches...he loved to burn things up -  that's why he made the list.

You can see the wonderful round turret that graced the craftsman architecture of the old house. This large magnificent home on the corner was owned by a man who lived in Santa Monica that consented to rent it to an ambitious party animal against the wishes of my my dad and the other concerned Real Estate Broker, Mr. Blaser, who lived next door to us (owner of the Lincoln Continental). Making matters worse, the tenant was a friend of my brothers named, Cameroon who decided to turn the old place into a "College Fraternity House."



No one in the neighborhood liked the idea. That's why Mr. D and Mr. Blaser made it on the list of suspects. 




Since most of us are Catholics on our block and had only learned Latin for Mass, we butchered the proper pronunciation of the three Greek Letters...        
            Φ Β Χ 
 ...which Camaroon hung on the front facade that you can see playing "peek-a-boo" behind the palm tree.

Also of note in this picture is the 56' Ford Business Coop parked out in front of the "Frat-House" that is in the beginning stages of  being transformed into the legendary Rat Killer (Shhhhhh - please don't tell Ford Motor Company where their high-performance 427, V8 motor disappeared to - Blog Post 7-4-2013 click here The legendary Rat Killer of Venice ).






 
Anyway, I wasn't about to tell my mom and I certainly wasn't going share this with the priest at confession, but one things that was pretty cool about being the house in the middle of the block was the college girls who walked by our house on their way to the so-called "Frat-House."  I was 12 - not a Zombie.  Ummmmmmm...I know this is the Sixties, but I'm pretty sure that the clothes they were wearing (or should I say lack of clothing) wasn't appropriate at any college in America, unless it was Magical Mystery Tour University.

       Weird...Right? I have no idea what the Beatles were thinking!

Speaking of the ill-clad "frat-girls" I guess some of the members of my tribe - the Wolf Pack, had lost some kind of bizarre bet in the hippie-cave in our backyard while smoking those funny-looking, hand-rolled Zig Zag cigarettes. The outcome of losing the bet was that a couple of  my brothers and several of their glassy-eyed friends had to dress up like girls and try to get into the Fraternity house. A couple of the boys with long hair looked pretty cute - my dad especially loved this - because he got to add this as evidence for his "ahhh...the little girly-men" speech he would often sing-song, invoking his Swedish inflection making fun of older boys who had long hair. I'm not going to lie, however, Chewbacca, looked like the ugliest women you every saw with his pink, poka-dotted dress and beard. The boys looked ridiculous staggering down to the end of the block in their fish net tights, mini-skirts and high heals. What was really gross was that Primo wore a bikini with oranges stuff inside the top.

Two of the hippies pretending to be girls got "hit on" Ewwwww...GROSS! ...and the rest were thrown out. 

That's why four boys ended up on the suspect list - the two that made it in and two who were jealous for getting kicked out. 

Weenie made it on the list just because she lived right next door, but really - anybody in the Tripp Family had motive.With all the wild parties and cars speeding in and out of the dirt driveway, no one on our street would blame them.

No one really knows for sure what happened to "Sea-Shell."  It was one of those, "which came first things"...the chicken or the egg?  Was she always slightly crazy or did that happened to her when her big brother, Camaroom, dropped her on her head from the second story balcony of the Fraternity house after her 15th attempt to sneak in.  Because of the head accident, she definitely makes it on the list.

Four Eyes says that someday they should make a movie based on the Fraternity called Party House or Animal House or something like that - but he was always speaking nonsense - like that is ever going to happen. 

I guess I have to tell you why some of the other people on our street made in on the list and also tell you about the night the Molotov cocktail - the poor man's grenade, smashed through the large plate glass window that sent the house up in an blazing inferno.

“Words are only painted fire; a look is the fire itself”

                                                          Mark Twain         

                                                       Until next time...   Happy New Year!