markie d: : The Dahlins: A Great Symphony

Monday, October 12, 2015

The Dahlins: A Great Symphony - Making Great Music

MY PUBLIC APOLOGY to my family for any misunderstanding I have created.

Dear Dahlins. I love you.

This blog is my story! A symphony. It is the story of a little nine year old kid who was left at Salton Sea. It is the story of an 11-year-old who nearly dies when his leg is severed at the McElliot's pool. It is the story of broken arms, horse play, pranks, cross-country travel, kick the can, lots of fun, and even more laughter.

I have never considered and would never have chosen a different family or a different childhood. I love us.

Something I read today said, "Everyone touched by a piece of music hears it differently. The composer hears it in the chamber of his imagination. The audience hears it with their senses and emotions. The members of the orchestra hear it most clearly..." filtered and specifically mixed through the sound of the instrument they play and "...the instruments closest to them."

It's like watching a movie. Two people can see the exact same film at the exact same time and yet come away with two completely different interpretations.

We were all there. We saw many of the same events and heard some of the same music, yet heard it through the discerning ears of our particular instrument that allows us to come away with very different interpretations.

This is my symphony of stories - a song mixed through my grid of senses and emotions. You might have composed it different. As members of the cast and orchestra you might have played it different and certainly heard and saw it through your ears and eyes which are very different from mine.

The events are recited with the embellishments of creative spit and polish. The emotions, however, are mine and are portrayed here through the eyes of this little boy with accuracy.

My life was the music of yearning to belong and the wanting of acceptance. It is a grand symphony of redemption and of forgiveness―the story of yesteryear and not today. I have never hated any one of my neighbors, I have never hated mom or dad and I have never hated any of you. All I wanted was to feel loved. I apologize that my struggles painted you in a bad light or made you feel like I was blaming you for my hardships or made you feel responsible for my faults.

This redemptive chapter was supposed to be 10 years down the chronology of this blog in the life of Markie D. Instead, I'm going to share that now out of sequence by assuring you that my song has changed! I was indeed a mess. I was broken, insecure, disconnected and desperately trying to find the meaning of life and love.

This drove me to my knees. I prayed. I cried out to God. I wanted a relationship in the universe that was deep, meaningful, and significant. God reached down from heaven in His infinite wisdom and grace and changed my life. Whole. Complete. Forgiven. Full. God took a very hard and numb heart and replaced it with one that was new and pliable. God made it possible for me not only to feel loved, but also to love and to love greatly.

God put tears and tenderness back into my emotions.

I love you and love the times when we get together and tell stories and laugh. You are tremendously important to me and I hold no grudges. This part may sound a bit weird, but I owe a great deal of debt to all of you. I look on my childhood now as one of the greatest gifts given to me (and even orchestrated by God Himself on my behalf).

My youthful feelings as an underdog gives me empathy for the weak and the oppressed. I hate racism―I hate bullying and have stood up for underdogs at great personal risk to myself.

My reaching out and contemplating the deep things of the human psyche at a young age equipped me to be a good listener; to care about other people's feelings and to contemplate the deep matters of the heart and of the human condition.

It has also provided me with the ability to laugh at myself. Laughter IS good medicine.

C.S Lewis wrote. "Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny..."

To give even more away... For me to claim that we were "America's most dysfunctional family" is facetious. The whole point is to show that every family has its faults and failings, it flaws and shortcomings. The grass is not greener on the other side. The universal human condition is one wrought with problems. It happened in our house and it happened in the houses of those next door and across the street. People will suffer disappointment and hurt. The greatest emotional pain is usually inflicted by those closest and most intimate.

Yet, if there is hope and healing and reconciliation and forgiveness for someone like this little boy, there just might be a chance for healing and wholeness for just about anyone―it is possible.

I beg you please, not to confuse the ramblings of a hurt and lost child so many years ago with who I am today.

I will continue to tell my story... and ...

1) I'll be careful not to paint anyone in a bad light.

2) I have many positive qualities for each of you that I carry with me that are worth sharing―so people would know that none of you are evil monsters (stupid kids doing stupid things―maybe, but not evil bullies).

3) People don't like plain-wrap stories―we were never a plain-wrap family.

AGAIN, forgive me for making some of you feel defensive if I have crossed some unspoken boundary―this was never my intention only a means of moving the symphony of my emotions to an amazing crescendo, which would otherwise, be nothing more a simple melody on white keys (white bread and non-fat milk).

This is my story. This is my song.

Let's make music together!

Love baby brother.

Tony

Karl

Kris

Kurt

Erick

Mary

Mark

Karin

Bob

Pinky

AND our Favorites....

David and Lisa

Dad and Mom

The Biologicals

3 comments:

MurielOctober 12, 2015 at 5:53 PM
What an eloquent letter. I, for one, having known some of your siblings and your Mom have never felt like you were dishonoring them or painting them in a bad light. I took your story as it was meant to be.... the feelings of a young boy in a large family. I think you've all turned out pretty well. Hugs & Prayers to you Mark. Be true to yourself (for God is within us all and if we are true to that self, all will be well). XO Mur
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No Other Family Like Ours - seriously

WHAT OTHER FAMILY IN THE WORLD let all of the monkeys out of the Zoo, been pranked by the sitting President of the United States in a rouge encounter, chased in cities, chased out of cities and chased down by the cops. Who in their right mind voluntarily electrocute themselves just for fun and dared to electrify the nuns around the corner—who neither volunteered nor had fun? WHAT OTHER FAMILY has had more broken bones, pulled more pranks, have had a plethora of runaway rattlesnakes and other large reptiles terrorize their neighborhood. WHAT OTHER FAMILY grew Mexican Tomato plants that never grew tomatoes and had leaky boats that refuse to float or Escaped death more times? Who had cars on blocks, trucks as trash barges and flowerbeds sprouting rusted bikes, mislaid sparkplugs and abandoned carburetors instead of flowers? Meet the DAHLINS

And to think we survived and came out normal—well, mostly.

The Truimph of Overcoming

I use the word dysfunction with deliberate intention and with great respect in serving the main point of this blog. In the wild ramblings of a kid I ruminate on the idea that my family was not just dysfunctional but was the “most dysfunctional family” on the planet—that’s the set up.

As I look to the other “normal” plain-wrap families next door and across the street that had tidy yards and flowerbeds believing that the grass is greener on the other side (well the grass was greener), it shouldn’t shock anyone to realize that there is dysfunction in all of us—often times masked by tidy lawns and clean exteriors. Along with joy, success and adventure, life is filled with disappointment, failure, pain, and betrayal from those who have let us down. This is what it means to be human. I admit that I faced some disappointment in trying to fit in and longed for acceptance as the youngest boy of our wolf pack, but in large part I can honestly say that I had more fun and more adventure, in what I would call a happy childhood—despite the numerous broken bones. Yet, I would be remiss if I did not brag a bit and say, “Yeah, but...Look at all the great stories.”

Though, I dig deep into the mind and explore the full range of emotions of this young kid who felt detached, wondered about his existence, about his place in the family and his connection to the universe—He came out okay.

The older Markie D loves his brothers and sisters and holds no grudges.

Markie D has found this elusive connection to the universe and is well adjusted—and yes, still a little bit crazy. He has been married for 34 years to an amazing artist, Kerry, and has four incredibly gifted and talented adult children.

Oh, BTW… He mows his lawn, parks a car in the garage and has flowers in the flowerbeds and desires boats that float and less adventure in every outing and more "plain-wrap."

May you find your connection to the universe that brings healing, wholeness, forgiveness and a sense of hope as you look to your future.

Not too long ago on a pale blue dot, third from the sun, people and events converged in the space/time continuum that would forever change the course of history. The setting is a huge Victorian home that slightly leaned on its crumbling foundation, groaning under the weight of unruly kids and hoards of junk. In the era of Ozzie and Harriet and Father’s Knows Best, I was born into a family dysfunction of epic proportions. This decrepit masterpiece in Venice would rival the Addams Family’s house, and the cast of characters would prove to be more incredible and wacky than The Munsters. The big problem was that I was the seventh born, the youngest boy and the runt of the litter.

To have 10 in a family in our catholic neighborhood was underachieving. To compete with the larger families, my mom gladly took in strays. The official-nonofficial count was more in the neighborhood of 14 ―mostly boys and all older than me.

All sibling rivalry and mischief flowed downhill and ended up on my platter, whether I had any say in the matter or not. For fun, we held on to the live wires that were left hanging out of a wall from a unfinished remodel. We were the only family I knew who voluntarily electrocuted themselves with 110 volt household current, and are the only family in the history of the world to single-handedly let all of the monkeys out of the LA zoo. We got chased out of cities; pursued by the Highway Patrol; and sought after by the entire Needles California Police force. Wherever we went, we made a spectacular splash which usually ended up on the front page of the local newspaper.

After being buried in pits, caged, hunted, left behind and electrocuted, I somehow managed to survive my childhood but felt numb, disconnected and alone although part of a big family. In college while searching for acceptance and connection, I experienced an event that would alter the course of my life. I graduated from Loyola Marymount University with a degree in Communications. I coached water polo and swimming at Saint Monica’s my High School Alma Mater and enjoyed major success in investment real estate. After a financial crisis, I committed myself to serving in ministry, working with Youth and Family, as an associate pastor of a large church in Southern California. I graduated with a Masters at the top of my class from Azusa Pacific Graduate School of Theology and was ordained a licensed Pastor.

I am married to an avid artist and have four children: three boys and a girl who takes after her mother’s creativity.

Currently, I am a senior Pastor of a church in Roseville, CA, and adjunct Professor of Biblical Studies at a Bible college, and live in Sacramento with my wife and daughter.

markie d:

'72 swim team

Monday, October 12, 2015

The Dahlins: A Great Symphony - Making Great Music

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